I hate the first week after ovulation. You can't look forward to ovulation and BDing, and it is too early for pregnancy signs, so all you can do is wait. Bleh. So, I'm waiting. Nothing to report.

I got another Peak reading on Sunday, and today I got a High reading on the fertility monitor. Plus, my temperature jumped today. All of this adds up to the fact that I ovulated yesterday, on CD 11, which is a few days early. I guess buying the fertility monitor was a good idea. :) So, we'll BD tonight as well for good measure, and then we'll begin the dreaded Two Week Wait.

I think this is one of my best ovulations yet. I had Eggwhite CM for TWO DAYS. And quite a bit of it the morning of the second day (which, incidentally, were my two Peak days on the fertility monitor, as you'd expect). Remember that I've only ever had Eggwhite CM one other month white TTC (which happened to be during a month we were taking off because I was on medication for my allergies).

So, this is the first time we're BDing with the best kind of cervical fluid! I think that's great. :) I've been taking 3 Mucinex pills per day, which is an expentorant that thins mucus (including cervical mucus) and it either worked well this month, or this was just a good month. If I get Eggwhite CM next month, I'll give total credit to the Mucinex. :)

The appointment with my new OB is on Jan. 9th. So that means I'll be 12 DPO when I see her. Hopefully I'll have some pregnancy symptoms when I go in, so I'll sort of know one way or the other what I should talk to her about. :) Maybe I can get an early blood test. Anyway, like I said before, I will arrange for some infertility treatments, or at least ask her about them, when I go in (if I'm not pregnant).

Today I got a "Peak" reading on my fertiliy monitor! And it's only day 10! Wtf? Not sure what that's all about, but we BDed last night, and we'll keep it up until it's time to stop. ;)

I'm happy and kind of surprised about the Peak reading. It's so early in my cycle. I guess if I ovulate on day 12 or so, it is good timing though. Anyway, I've never had a Peak reading, so it was fun to see the little egg picture in the monitor's window. Last month I never got a Peak reading, and a little part of me wondered if that could be an indication that something wrong. But, of course, the directions for the monitor said that the first month is usually screwy as it gets used to your hormone levels. I'm just glad that there is another indication that I'm normal, ya know? :)

I want a baby so bad. I guess part of it is that I'm a naturally obsessive person, and this is my current obsession. (You know, I never thought I was obsessive until I was an adult. But now I find that I do so many little things... like I have to eat ice cream in a certain order: creamy parts first, candy-laiden parts last. Or, I always avoid cracks in the pavement - but just in front of work and in front of our apartment.) But I think I have hormones that are kicking in as well. I think I've written in the blog before about oxytocin in more detail, so I won't get into that now. I think though, that I'm totally half-full of this oxytocin stuff! Everything in my whole body is shouting, "BABY! BABY! BABY!" to me all the time.

Like the other day, I was playing with one of the cats, and I started tickling him and doing my own silly version of "coochie coochie coo." Then I thought, hopefully one day I'll be doing this to my little baby! Then my heart melted as the oxytocin kicked in.

I was reading a book the other night that was talking about how to make your babies smart, starting from around 28 weeks pregnant. They can hear in the womb, and hearing the mother's voice when she is talking stimulates development in the baby's brain. The baby also will match is cries to certain patterns in the mother's speech, which makes the cries more pleasing to the mother's ear when the baby is born. I hope that means my baby won't cry a lot, since I sure do talk a lot. Hehe.

But anyway, the book was discussing all of these hormonal things that evolution has developed in order to help with the species' survival. Human infants are totally dependant on their parents - they can't do anything on their own, really. Some scientists have said that the gestational period for humans is really 2 years and 10 months. Until a baby is around 2 years old, they can't really survive at all on their own (even then it would be tough for them, of course). So, nature makes sure that the parents totally love the baby so much that they will do anything to protect and nurture it.

For example, everything about a baby's appearance is tailored to trigger certain reactions in its parents. All babies have dark hair and the same color eyes when their born. The reason? So a father can't tell that it isn't his baby, until later when the baby's hair and eyes change, and by then the baby is older and slightly more secure. This tries to ensure that the father will stick around a little longer, even if it isn't his baby. Babies are born with lots of fat around their faces which makes them cuter and more appealing. They learn instantly how to make eye contact, and their dark, deep eyes looking deep into your heart ensure that the parents experience a certain "bonding" with their baby. As I mentioned before, the babies cries are tuned to specifically create a desire to help within the parents. And, the whole breastfeeding experience is designed to feel good to the mother (oxytocin, the "love" hormone that is also present after an orgasm, pumps through the mother's veins) so that she will want to continue the experience.

Anyway, even though there is are even more examples like that, I won't get into all of them. But I would LOVE to experience all of this. I would LOVE to meet this little human that is specifically suited with tools that will force me to love it. Not that I won't love it anyway, but how cool is that to meet someone created just for me to love?

Happy Holidays to everyone!

Well, I got a "High" fertility reading on my Fertility Monitor, so we'll be BDing tonight, even though it seems quite early. I would assume that I won't ovulate until about CD 13, and it is CD 9 today. But, in previous cycles, I've ovulated as early as CD 11, so anything is possible, and I'm ready for it. ;)

It will be nice to BD this cycle because we have so many days off due to the holiday. So we'll BD tonight and Sat and Sunday, I'll probably ovulate on Monday, and we'll BD on Monday and Tuesday and that should be it. We'll see. :)

I see my new OB on the 9th, so hopefully I'll be pregnant by then, and the visit will be useless! :)

Not much going on. The blogger web site was down yesterday so I couldn't post anything. I wonder how many bloggers are writing about the blogger site being down in their blogs? Hehe.

Anyway, my period is gone, so we'll be TTC again in a few days here. I don't really have anything new to do this cycle... I'm still on Mucinex for cervical mucus, but I'm still scared to try egg whites.

I decided that if I don't get pregnant this cycle, I'm going to have a few infertility tests (even though it is still a little early). I have already have an HSG, so I shouldn't have to do that. (Unless they want to see if anything has changed in the last 6 months, which is possible.) We will probably get an SA and whatever other treatment or test is really cheap. Then if I still don't get pregnant for 3 or 4 more months, then I'll make an appointment to see an RE and get more expensive treatments or tests. That is of course unless my OB can determine the problem easily, and start treatment. I just want to be pregnant with a healthy baby, I don't care what it takes. :)

Sorry I haven't updated for a while. It is just toooo depressing to write stuff in my "pregnancy journal" while I'm on my period, ya know?

Last month was such a heartbreaking experience. I'm not kidding - I was 100% sure I was pregnant. I think I had convinced Kevin that I was pregnant too. The few days we really thought it had happened were some of the happiest of my life, and seeing Kevin just as happy was amazing. So, when I started my period, it was devastating to both of us. We were both trying to be strong for eachother, but we were both really sad. It sucked!

So now we're on to our 5th month. I guess we're still within the normal range in terms of how long it is taking us. I'm just worried that something is wrong, and I don't want to waste too much time before trying to figure it out.

So, I've made an appointment with an OB to discuss everything. Firstly, I had a lot of cramps last month after ovulation, and I should have that checked out. Perhaps it is nothing. Secondly, I want to start talking about infertility treatments. Unfortunately, infertility isn't covered by my insurance (which sucks!) so I will have to pay for everything. Happily, Kevin agrees this is top priority and he committed to spending money if we have to. I've done an HSG so I know my tubes are open, but there are few other little tests we can have that will tell us more without much effort and money.

My OB appointment is Jan. 9 I think, so I am going to try again this cycle and see what happens. Then, on Jan. 9, I won't be able to have xrays or anything until I know I'm not pregnant. Hopefully they will be unnecessary. :)

Well, I started my period for sure. I'm pretty devastated. I was just SOOOO sure that I was pregnant this month. With the light HPT positive and everything. In fact, I bet I WAS pregnant, but I lost it so early.

I am going to go to the OB though and see what the little pains I was having were. Like I said before, perhaps I have an ovarian cyst. Or, perhaps it was just a chemical pregnancy.

Oh well... :(

I just posted this on the message board:

---
Today is the first day of my missed period, but I started spotting tonight (quite a bit of spotting... enough to wear a pantyliner, but not enough yet for a tampon) and have AF cramps. I took a Clear Blue Easy test tonight (not with morning urine), and there was a very very faint blue line, but I still think it is a BFN (the line didn't show up for a while).

However, my temperature is still up. In fact, I took a nap tonight then took my temp when I woke up, and my temperature was 98.7. Usually it drops about 4 tenths of a point by morning, but still that is very high.

Also, I've never started my period with my temps this high. Could it mean there is something wrong? I've had lots of cramps since like 4 DPO, could this mean an ovarian cyst or something?

Obviously, I need to see what tomorrow's temperature is. What if it is still high?

Thanks so much in advance for your thoughts. I'm so emotional right now. I thought I was being very strong when I saw the spotting, but then my husband asked me about it (he was sooooooo cute and excited when I missed my period) I started totally bawling. I sooo wanted to make him happy, and I could tell he was so disappointed that I started my period. It totally broke my heart. We're building a new house right now, and I desparately want to start a family to live in it.

Ah well, thanks for listening.

---

:(

My temperatur dropped a tiny bit today, but so far no period. As of right now, I've officially missed my period. This is my longest LP since I've been charting.

I took another pregnancy test, and there was the slightest shadow of a line there. It was the same kind of test I took a few days ago, and if you compare the two tests, you can definitely notice a difference. But, I'm not counting it as positive yet, for sure. It is just another good sign. :)

I still have had some light cramping on and off, and lots of CM during the day. I keep thinking my period started, so I run to the bathroom and nothing is there.

I just posted this on the Fertility Friend message boards:

---

Today my temps stayed up (a slight drop, but it should be ok as long as they don't go much lower!), but this is the longest LP I've ever had. By 13 DPO I've always spotted a few days before, and then starting big-time flow by morning.

So I tested again this morning with an EPT, and when the pink flowed over the indicator area, there was a bright pink line, which didn't happen before. But it faded to almost nothing in a few minutes, and now there is a tiny shadow there.

However, I used an EPT to test a few days ago, and it is white as snow. No shadow, no nothing. You can definitely see a difference between the two.

So, is it fair to compare the two tests from the same box? Could one be an evap line while the other has no evap line?

Obviously, I will test again tomorrow if my temps stay up, but I would like to know your thoughts.

----

Someone asked if the faint line was pink or grey, and I answered:

----

Honestly, it is pretty hard to tell. I would say it is more pink, but it is light enough that I'm not totally sure! I looked again though, and it is definitely there. When you compare the two tests, you can see a faded line on one test, and the other there absolutely nothing.

I have been taking some cheap internet tests almost every day, and on those tests I do think I can see an evap line. It is definitely grey, and it is skinnier than the comparison pink line. As if it is the impression of when they added the chemicals to that spot.

This very light line on my EPT test though, is just as wide as the comparison line. It is exactly where it should be if it were positive, it is just so light...

The more I look at it though, the darker it gets, LOL. Perhaps it is my mind wishing it into reality.

----

Will post more tomorrow. :)

Temperature went up AGAIN today. :) Very nice. We'll see what happens tomorrow

Still some light cramps, but no other symptoms.

Temperature jumped up today nicely. That's a super good sign. I had a strange twinge in my right side (well, the area where my uterus/tubes are) all day yesterday, and today I had period like cramps. Still no period though. I just hope my temperature stays up, and no period comes! :) I have more optimism this cycle than any other cycle so far though. I actually took a pregnancy test and it was negative, but that's to be expected.

Wish me luck...

My temp is still up and it is day 22. That's pretty good. Last month my temperature dropped below the coverline on day 22. Then again, I ovulated a little earlier last month.

I don't feel any more symptoms though, which is discouraging. No cramps or headaches or moodiness.

Well, we'll know more in a few days.

Oh, and also, no more cramps or headache today.

A strange temperature dip this morning. I haven't checked my previous charts yet to see how typical this is for me. But it could be a good sign if it goes back up higher. Talk again soon...

Yay, the Blogger site appears to be up and running properly, so I'm back in business.

Well, ever since yesterday, I've had light cramps. I felt exactly like I do right before I start my period. It's very strange! I haven't felt anything like this since I started TTC. Of course, I'm not sure if this has happened before I started TTC, since I never really paid any attention to the timing of these sorts of things before. Also, I had a mild headache for a long time yesterday. Headaches are another early sign of pregnancy - but, honestly, it felt exactly like a sinus headache, so I'm not sure if that should really be put on my list of "hopeful symptoms."

In part due to those two things, and also in part due to our excellent BDing this month, I feel REALLY good about this month. I'm trying not to be too excited because I don't want to set myself up for a bigger disappointment than normal. But, like I said, I feel really good about this month. :)

I just hope it isn't something bad, like an ectopic pregnancy, or perhaps my fibroids are now too big. I will watch my symptoms closely, of course, to see how they develop.

Cross your fingers!

Hmmm... well the Blogger site that I use to run this journal has been up and down all day today. It looks like I've gotten window where I could post though. Well, I hope so anyway. :)

So, it looks like our TTC time is over for this month. My temperatures show that I ovulated about 3 days ago. Given that, our BDing for this month was exactly on time. My fertility monitor is still showing "High" fertility for me (it has the entire middle of my cycle) but that is most likely because it hasn't yet adjusted to my cycle. In the instructions it says that it could take a few months to be accurate. (Which would be funny if I get pregnant this month, which would mean that the fertility monitor was totally useless!). If anything though, it has shown that my temperature charts appear to be correct - so we've been BDing at the right times so far.

It does appear that my cervical mucus is still a problem, even with the guaifenesin. I'm not sure what the possible solutions are other than guaifenesin... I think that it might take an IUI. But hey, I'll do whatever works. :)

Hi there!

So, there are three readings on my fertility monitor: low, high and peak. You show "low" fertility on almost every day of the month, "high" just before and after ovulation, and "peak" the days of or right around ovulation. Today, I tested "high" on the monitor, so we'll be BDing tonight! It doesn't really change anything, because I would have started BDing tonight anyway, just based on my cycle day. But it is nice to have some confirmation from the monitor. Actually, this is the first time I've tested positive for anything while TTC. All the other ovulation kits never gave me a positive, so I was suspicious that I had a problem. So, I agree with all the tests that the Clear Blue easy fertility monitor is the best and most sensitive! :)

Also, I got a prescription for some Guaifenesin. It is actually called Mucinex, and I can buy it over the counter. So far, it seems to have helped a little with the cervical mucus, but not a LOT. We'll see when it gets to be closer to ovulation time.

Cross your fingers, I want this to be my month!

Period over! Now, just a few days until BD time.

I'm going to try REALLY hard this month. I ordered a fertility monitor and I should get it tomorrow. I also asked my OB for a prescription for Guaifenesin, which is an expectorant which should help my cervical mucus. Just before ovulation, I'm going to take a baby aspirin every day, to help with blood thinning to aid implantation and reduce implantation side effects. This will be my fourth cycle of TTC, so we're still definitely within the normal range.

So, we met with the builder Tuesday night. It was actually a good meeting I think. We told him that we felt there were some communication problems, and we wanted to make sure everything went OK so we'd be happy with the house. He said that they were going to start on insulation next week, then dry wall later in the week. So when we check it in a week and a half, we should have drywall and probably siding outside! That will make a big difference in the "feel" of the house. It will start to feel complete. We need to have our lighting bought in 2 weeks, so we have to start shopping now. I'm excited about that. :) He also said that he was going to switch out the tub on the bottom floor so we'd have a shower instead (they put a tub in there on accident). He had to drive up to Michigan to get the shower so there wouldn't be any delays with our house. Which is fine with me, because it was their mistake. I'm glad they're trying to "work with us" now though.

He said the house should be finished between Christmas and New Year's. What a lovely time to go through the hassle of moving. It will probably be late though, as always. So I'm expected a realistic move in date of like Jan. 10th or so.

Started my period. This month was looking kind of interesting too... but, it was very strange from the beginning, so oh well.

I've already put in a bid on ebay for a fertility monitor. :( Hopefully I get it... this one is like $150 cheaper than what I would buy in a story, hehe!

I'm also looking into ways to increase cervical mucus... this most recent month there was like NONE. However, last month it was great! What's the deal? I was on medication at the time, something in the medication I was taking before probably had a side effect that helped out.

Although it seems like I've been trying to concieve forever, really it has only be 3 months. The first month we tried it was too late, so that month was missed. Then last month I was on medication so we didn't try. So it has only been 3 months where we actually tried and did not concieve. That's not too bad.

Oh well... on to next month.

Interesting. My temperature went up a little bit today, and I haven't started my period yet. Could yesterday's temperature drop and spotting be implatation? Oh, I hope so! But I'm not banking on it. This cycle has been so strange, I'm already kind of writing it off. No other feelings or symptoms of potential pregnancy.

So, two things we need NOT to happen: I want my temperature not to drop... in fact it needs to go way back up, and, obviously, I need to NOT start my period. If neither of those things happen within the next two days, I'll be VERY hopful for this month. (I've spotted a little in previous months, then started my period one or two days later). If they don't happen in four days, I go out and buy a pregnancy test. :)

But I'm 95% sure I'll start my period today or tomorrow. :(

Well, my temperature dropped today. Probably will start my period soon. This month has been wierd... ovulated a little early and ended the cycle a little early. Oh well. I'm going to buy that fertility monitor asap!

Still don't feel pregnant. I had a little bit of spotting yesterday, which is a good sign... but my temperatures aren't very high, so I don't really have any other good signs.

I forgot to mention that we visited the house this weekend, and a huge patch of our shingles blew off! The weather hasn't gotten warm enough yet to melt the tar that holds the shingles down, so when we got a windstorm last week, a bunch of them blew off. Bah! Luckily, it isn't REALLY our house yet, so they'll just have to fix it. Heh. :)

Hi there... still waiting to see if we're pregnant this month. Honestly, I don't feel pregnant at all, so I'm sort of already planning for next month. Kevin says I can get one of those expensive fertility monitors. The temping should tell me when I did ovulate, but maybe it is showing it too early, and we're missing the right time? That can happen sometimes. He also says we can use egg whites to increase cervical mucus. :)

But, we still have hope that it isn't necessary!

Sorry I haven't updated it so long! I have had a ton to do and I had to go to Chicago for this work thing, blah blah blah.

But the news is, I ovulated and we BDed and now we're waiting to see what happened!

My chart is a little screwy though because two days after what I think was my ovulation day, I slept really well and ended up with a temperature of 97.7, which is really low for post-ovulation. I think it was affected by ovulation though. So, my chart doesn't believe that I ovulated yet, though I'm sure I did.

Just have to wait now to see what happens!

The lady at the store where we're getting our cabinets called and said we're under our allowance on cabinets. Isn't that nice? I might want to get a different cabinet configuration (like more drawers in my bathroom) but Kevin of course wants to save the money. We go to the store this weekend to finalize the cabinet choices, so we'll decide all of this at that time.

And, I stopped taking my Singulair today in preparation for ovulation. Hopefully I don't get sick from not having it. I don't think I will though, Singulair has never seemed like it worked for me anyway.

Not much going on today... just waiting til this weekend for ovulation. Talk to you later! =)

So, this weekend we will start TTC. I'm excited! I feel like I have better chances this month. But still, one has to realize that even with the best chances, you still only have a 1 in 4 chance of getting pregnant, and the pregnancy itself has like a 20% chance of failing within the first few days. I'm not sure if the 1 in 4 statistic includes the lost pregnancies, actually, but, you get my point.

The house is going well, as you can see by the pictures. We're still hoping it is finished before the end of the year. This has been a REALLY LONG process, I'll tell ya! But I'm still so excited about getting the house I can't stand it. :) If we're lucky, we can have the house before Christmas... but, we might not be so lucky. =(

Hellooo... temperature dropped way down today. What's up with that? It can't be ovulation... perhaps it is because of my medication, or because of something else. I also changed my temping time to 7 am instead of 6:30, so perhaps that is why. Who knows, all I know is that it can't be ovulation.

I got some new pictures up of the house. Click on the link to the right to view, or you can just jump to the new pages here and here. Also, be sure to check out my panoramic views of the upstairs and downstairs. If you're using Explorer or a few other browsers, it will automatically resize the image to fit in your browser window, so click on the "exapand" button (which comes up if you hover your mouse over the image) to make it full-size. You might have to scroll side to side, but at least you can read it. =)

Hmm... not really anything to report today.

Today is dress up day at work - I'm not going to dress up. I tried to think of a joke I could come up with as a response whenever someone said, "What are you?" but I couldn't think of one. One guy at the office said he was going to go as the invisible man. (Meaning, he wouldn't be around, ha!). Anyway, talk to you later!

Firstly, good news! The doctor said I can go ahead and try to get pregnant this month. =) So this will be the first month TTC without all my allergy medications that were causing lack of cervical mucus. I'm VERY excited about that! =) I started my period yesterday, so will will probably start TTC in about 10 days.

The allergy test (where they inject allergens under your skin) wasn't bad at all! It was just as uncomfortable as the other less-feared scratch test. Basically, the only thing that is uncomfortable is if you actually are allergic to something, then you get a welt and a rash which itches like crazy. This test shows that in addition to ragweed, russian thistle, cockroaches I am also allergic to "grasses" and, yes, "cats." There were two tests for cats and I was only allergic to one of them, and it only BARELY set off their positive alarm (meaning, it was barely red with no welt). So, either I am only slightly allergic to cats, or I am slightly immune to them because I've been living with them.

So, grasses and weeds are the main things I need to watch for. Both of which have a summertime season (meaning that last month was a REALLY bad time to go off medication!).

She also checked my throat and had me say, "Ahhhhh." And when I did that she asked me if I was a singer because my Ahhh sounded really nice. Haha, isn't that funny?

Hooray for this month! Hooray! I want to be pregnant by the time we move into the new house. =)

Today is my doctor's appointment with the allergy specialist. They're going to do the allergy test where they actually inject allergens under your skin, to see how horribly you react, heh. It is supposed to be pretty painful (I should probably say, extremely uncomfortable... it's not painful like a broken arm, it's just a bunch of really bad needle shots!) so I'm not really looking forward to it. But, it will be nice to have it all over. I'm praying that I'm not allergic to cats. =)

Also, today the doctor should tell me what my "plan" is for the next few weeks. Is she going to let me try to get pregnant? Will she try to get me to take some more medication for just a few weeks and then let my get pregnant in 2 weeks when it is time to ovulate? Or, perhaps the likely scenerio, will she have me take another CT scan and see how my sinuses are? If they're not good, I might have to have surgery. Then, not only do I have to have surgery on my HEAD, but pregnancy is delayed by another month. =(

The thing is, if my sinuses are so bad, why can't I tell? I don't feel any sinus pain or pressure. I feel no symptoms of having a horrible sinus infection. Should you really have surgery on something that doesn't bother you at all?

So, I am going to put on my healthiest face and try to convince her that everything is perfect and her treatment was successful. =)

You see, originally I had chosen to have a black-colored roof on the house. I went into the roofing company and signed a paper with my color choices. However, later on, when I saw the garage door color (which was different than I had anticipated) I changed the roof and soffit colors. But, they never asked me to go back in and "approve" these changes.

The problem is, at the time they changed my colors, someone changed the "3-tab" shingles to "architect" shingles (the expensive ones). I have no idea why they would have done this. The only thing I can think of is that the color I chose only comes in architect shingles? Who knows.

Luckily, I still have the paper that shows where I signed for the cheap shingles, and it is obvious someone crossed it off later on. So, it looks like I won't have to pay.

Out of the kindness of our hearts, we said we would allow them to leave the expensive shingles on the house so they didn't have to remove them. =)

Nothing else going on... talk to you tomorrow!

No period yet, probably today or tomorrow. Today was also my last antibiotics (hopefully she doesn't make me start over again!).

So it was fun seeing the house yesterday. We now have shingles on our roof. Fortunately or unfortunately, the roofer put this extra-expensive "archetectural" shingles on our roof, that we didn't order. I'm assuming we don't have to pay for it, since we didn't order it. They can take it off it they want, or they can leave it. Whatever. =)

They also put all the venting system and at least some plumbing in this week, so that was nice to see. There is a bath in the lower-level bathroom, but it was supposed to be a shower only. I don't really care about that one, but we are going to make sure that they know it is a mistake, so we get some extra points in case he makes a mistake we really don't like in the future (like the trey ceiling!).

Speaking of the trey ceiling, he said it would cost us $400. So, we're not doing it. But you know, if it is basically gluing some wood to the ceiling of our master bedroom, we can always do that later, right? It can be a little home improvement project for Kevin next summer. =)

I took a lot of pictures, which I should have in a few days (just got to develop it).

I'll probably start my period tomorrow. Then, I basically have two weeks to convince the doctor my sinus problems are over. ;) I meet with the doctor next Wednesday though, hopefully she doesn't have me continue medication.

I really want to try again this month because I feel I'll have much better luck when I'm off of Zyrtec (since I have egg white CM). Just think, by this time next month I could be pregnant! Please, please, please, please! =)

I'm visiting the house today, and meeting with the builder. He's going to give us some options about how to have a trey ceiling in our bedroom (a feature we thought came standard with the house, but really doesn't). I'm sure he'll ask us for some money for it, and I don't think we can really afford to spend any more. We've already spent like $1700 in post-contract upgrades (which means we have to pay that in cash, it isn't included in our mortgage) and considering closing costs, down payment and appliances - we will have to shell out a LOT of money all at once.

Well anyway, talk to you later!

My period will start in a few days. Hopefully my doctor will let my TTC next month. This month was so boring without all the excitement of tracking my temperatures and making guesses.

I think in the end the month off will be helpful though. Getting this allergy stuff figured out before I get pregnant is a good idea. And also, last month was the first month I ovulated without having taken Zyrtec in a long time, and I DID have egg white CM. That will really help the little spermies get to their goal!

Next week I go to the doctors again, and hopefully she'll let me TTC.

Talk to you later!

Not much going on. I've been without Zyrtec or prednisone for about a week now, and though I still have a little bit of congestion (hopfully drainage from my sinuses) I feel pretty good. I've been taking the antibiotics as well, and they are causing me some other problems, but hopefully they are going to clear things up.

More importantly, I've posted some new pictures of the house. Check them out here. If you want to start from the front page, click on the house progress link on the right.

Still not much going on. The house is progressng... I try to have some new pictures up by tomorrow. Talk to you later!

Sorry I haven't posted for so long! I was kinda waiting for my doctor's appointment yesterday, but really that's no excuse. =)

So, I ovulated yesterday, that's the first thing. I actually followed the doctor's advice and didn't BD, so there's no chance of pregnancy this month.

So, my doctor had me have a chest X-ray and a CT scan of my sinuses. Really, the results are just about as bad as they can be - except for finding something unexpected like cancer. But when I saw her she said, "Your CT scan looks REALLY bad. We have to talk about it." She says I have acute, chronic, pan-sinisitis. Basically, that's means I have a bad sinus infection. She's going to give me some antibiotics to see if they help (and I think they will) but the worst case situation is that perhaps I have a defect that causes my sinuses not to drain properly, and that can be corrected with surgery. Obviously I don't want surgery! My plan is to take the antibiotics and get rid of this thing in the next 3 weeks - then it is time to start trying to conceive again.

I also took a skin allergy test. I'm not allergic to cats (at least, this first test didn't show that - they will do another in depth one though) and I am allergic to ragweed and russian thistle (which is very common). So, basically my allergies act up during August through October. Makes sense to me! I'm also allergic to common cocklebur and/or cockroaches. I thought the common cocklebur had something to do with cockroaches, but a quick search online didn't show any connection, so now I'm confused. Anyway, she said I had a really bad allergy to ragweed - in fact, the tiny spot where she did the test still itches! But as soon as she put the tiny drop of ragweed on me, the whole area broke out in a rash and hives and started itching like crazy. Imagine if I had to roll around in a pool of that stuff! Luckily, I doubt no such pool exists.

The predisone really helped me though... I'm still slightly congested but no more asthma problems. I have one more day of predisone left, so hopefully I don't start feeling bad again. She has me on Singulair instead of Zyrtec because Zyrtec will influence my allergy tests and Singulair won't. But, I don't feel Singulair works as well for me. When I take Zyrtec, I just dry up like a fish out of water (that reminds me of a time when my pet fish jumped out of the tank, and when I finally found him three days later, he looked like a little orange potato chip).

My temperature dipped today, but that is because I'm not taking prednisone. So, my temp chart may be a little strange this month. I'm still having an internal debate on whether I way to try to get pregnant this month. Hmmm...

Saw the doctor yesterday. She was really mad at me for being so sick - I was really wheezing bad when I saw her. She wants me to have a chest xray and a sinus MRI (read = $$$). She also wants me to wait a month to fix everything before getting pregnant.

I really want to be irresponsible and try anyway though. How bad is that? People get pregnant accidentally all the time. Is that really bad of me?

Asthma was really bad last night. I usually wheeze, and then I have kind of a coughing attack because I'm trying to cough out the fluid making me wheeze. But last night, I was wheezing only a tiny bit, but my chest was so tight that it actually hurt to breathe. Luckily, a couple puffs of my albuterol inhaler helped that out. But it came back again every few hours while I was sleeping. I remember when I was on swim team when I was a kid, back in smoggy Riverside, California, and after swimming a long time then getting out of the pool, my chest would be tight and it hurt to breathe, very similar to this.

Luckily, we don't have that much smog from cars in Northwest Indiana.

Instead, we have chemically polluted air from industrial plants. It's much more difficult to see, but just as dangerous.

Anyway, I have an appointment with an allergy and immunology specialist tomorrow. I'm hoping to accomplish three things:

1. Get some treatment for my current problems. (Probably a nebulizer treatment.)
2. Talk to her about long-term treatment during TTC, pregnancy and breastfeeding. Taking antihistamines is not recommended during any of those phases, especially breastfeeding. So that's like 2 or 3 years of having no treatment for my allergies - so I need to figure out something.
3. Get my allergy skin test. Basically, they scratch you with numerous allergens, and see which you react to. Afterwards, I will know (hopefully) exactly what I'm allergic to.

Anyway, I'll let you know how it goes!

The house didn't quite have a roof yet, but it should really soon. You could see where they were putting together big triangles that they will soon hoist up and make the roof with them. Kevin was a little disappointed though, it hasn't seemed like there has been much progress the last two weeks. I guess sometimes it is hard to see what they're actually doing though.

My asthma was really bad last night, I kept waking up wheezing. I am trying to go this cycle with no medication, and it has been OK so far - until the last few days. I'm going to make an appointment for a specialist again (I did last month, but I got too sick and had to go to urgent care, and was put on medication, so I had to cancel). Hopefully it will get better, somehow, soon.

Not much to report today. We're going to see the house later, and then Kevin has a bunch of work to do.

Yesteray I bought several things at the garage sales. I got a big stair step for aerobics for $1.50, and two "What to expect" books for 10 cents each (What to expect when you're expecting and what to expect the first year). I also bought a giant "nursing" book for 50 cents, but it ended up being a book about NURSING (as in medicine and doctors and whatnot) and not feeding babies. Haha. I guess I have babies on the brain.

I also saw a bunch of baby items for really cheap. This one lady was selling a stroller, light stroller, high chair, activity center, activity walker, jogging stroller, two different cars seats, playpen and some other things - all for $3 - $10 each. They were in pretty good condition too - some wear, but nothing bad. When I'm finally pregnant, I'm going to buy almost everything at garage sales! I want a good stroller and car seat, so I want a particular brand (Peg Perego) so I won't get those unless I see them at a sale, which is doubtful. I did find this used baby store nearby that sells "gently used" strollers, and they have Peg Perego, and they were like half price. (Normally they are $150 - $300 or so).

Talk to you later!

Period is definitely here! =(

I posted something on Fertility Friend about my analysis (below) and the response I got was basically "You need to relax! You're only on your second cycle!" Haha, I guess I am overly obsessive. I just like thinking about having babies! I'm rarely sad about it, and even if I am, it is kind of a healthy sad. Meaning, I don't think it is a problem. I'm still a happy and cheerful person. I just get sad for a minute, and then I start getting excited about next month. =)

I'm going to some more garage sales today. Hopefully I can find some stuff for the house! I've been going to sales for three weekends now, and so far I've only spent like $2.50. Bought some candle holders and two baby shirts. I have neither candles nor babies. Although, I can buy candles!

I had some brownish spotting yesterday, enough that I had to wear something, but then it stopped (this is typical for me to spot a day before or the day of my period). Now, this morning my temperature dropped below the coverline, which is a big sign of my impending period, as if the spotting wasn't enough. So, I might have more spotting more today, and then tomorrow will be the first day of my new cycle, most likely.

I am disappointed. I thought this would be easier! Kevin mentioned to me the other day that if we had gotten pregnant the first cycle (the cycle where we didn't get the green light until after I ovulated) I would be 12 weeks pregnant today! I'd be starting to get over morning sickness. Hoping to get an ultrasound to know the sex of the baby. Listening to heartbeats. Buying little baby things at garage sales (well, I guess I'm doing that already, but there was a lot more I would have bought, were I pregnant). I was hoping I'd be pregnant when we moved into the new house. Now, if I do get pregnant next cycle, I will probably find out a week before we move.

I think the whole house thing will be great though. Luckly, I'm not a really stressed out person, so the whole building and moving process probably won't affect my ovulation. I really only get stressed out when I launch a new web site at work, or if a family member is sick. I don't stress about much else though! So I'm not worried about that.

I've been trying to analyze any potential fertility problems we may have, so I can try to use little tricks to correct for it next cycle. Here are some things that I know AREN'T wrong:

- I am ovulating VERY regularly (ovulation on the same day every cycle, and each cycle so far is exactly the same length).
- I have good progesterone levels (which I can tell from my temperature spikes).
- I don't have a luteal phase defect (luteal phase for me is 12 days).
- I have a short cycle, but nothing out of the ordinary.
- My HSG was normal, no blockages, no obscructions, no fibroids or anythhing else big enough to change the morphology of my uterus.
- My fallopian tubes are not blocked, and I have free spillage from the tubes into the body cavity.
- I have very strong periods, so the lining of my uterus should be thick enough to support a pregnancy.
- I don't have a retrograde uterus as previously suspected, so that is fine.

Here are some things that COULD be a problem:

- We could have male infertility problems, though I doubt it.
- I could have egg quality problems. I'm not sure if there are any signs that would clue me into that, but I seem to ovulate strong and fast, which makes me feel like that whole system is fine.
- I DO have fibroids, but they should only affect pregnancy if they're big enough, and supposedly they're not. It is possible they affect impantation though, and that could be a problem.
- I don't have good cervical mucus, so the spermies may have traveling issues. This is the most obvious problem I can see. I am always using allergy medications, which dries up my fluids, though I stop a few days before ovulation time.

What other fertility problems have I not accounted for?

So, a few things I can do to help with the potential problems I've identified:

- Take baby asprin. It slightly thins the blood and makes implantation easier.
- I will not start taking my allergy medications this month (which I've been starting to take each time I get my period, to help with these awful asthma and allergy symptoms), even though I'm not pregnant. So that may increase cervical fluid.
- I think I've convinced Kevin to try using real egg whites to give the spermies a medium through which they can travel, since I don't have much cervical mucus.

I think that's it. Anyone have any other ideas? :)

Temp is down today. It is even lower than it was last month on this day. That's a bad sign. I'm 95% sure I'm not pregnant this month. This month sucks!

Here's hoping for that 5% chance... :)

Temp up slightly, not enough to improve my chart though. No symptoms to report.

Two more days until my period. And, if my chart is going to go like last month, I will get a telltale pre-menstral temperature drop as soon as tomorrow.

I'm already thinking ahead to next month...

Chart isn't looking so good this month. Temps haven't gone higher like they did last month, no possible implantation bleeding like last month, and no creamy CM like last month. (Remember, I think last month that I might have been pregnant for a few days, but it didn't impant properly.) So, even though last month looks like I didn't get pregnant, I sort of want my chart to look the same (except the period at the end!). No other symptoms to report, either. In fact, I feel pretty good today - I worked out last night and my allergies aren't too bad.

But, I looked at the chart gallery on the Fertility Friend web site, and I saw many charts that looked even worse than mine does this month, and they still resulted in pregnancies. So, as I've said before, it's not over until it's over!

Three more days to go until my period is due!

It's getting to be crunch time! Three or four days until my period is due. My chart doesn't look any more promising that it did last month, and it still looks eerily similar (though, this month I'm getting a little higher temps, and a little less creamy CM).

No symptoms to report. =(

Again, my temperature is almost exactly the same as last month. That is so odd! Like I said before, it could be a good sign if I was pregnant last month, could be a bad sign if I wasn't.

So I went to several garage sales yesterday, and at this one there was a huge pile of baby clothes for 50 cents each. I looked through them and there was some really cute stuff - like Baby B'gosh, Gap Baby and Old Navy. This is expensive clothes. But I told myself it was a little too obsessive to buy clothes now - even if I AM pregnant, it will be 9 months until I have a baby! And another year after that until I have a baby that will fit into these clothes (most of it was for a 12-month-old baby). So while I was looking through the stuff, the owner of the garage sale said he would lower the price to only 20 cents each! So I told myself that if I saw something that I just HAD to have, AND it was gender-neutral, I would go ahead and splurge! I ended up buying just two tops: one is a white ribbed turtle neck size 3 - 6 months, and another tan sweater with a really cute bear on the front (that has fuzz on it, like a stuffed animal) for size 12 months. That sweater is like $55 if you went and bought it in the store. So I think I did good!

Temp rose today like I said. Possible implantation dip, or just a dip. Interestingly, I got a dip on CD17 last month as well. Not sure if that's a good sign or a bad sign. Could be bad because it could mean the dip is just typical hormones that I have when I'm not pregnant. Could be good if I was pregnant last month, and this month my chart is looking the same.

Gotta go, am going to stop by some garage sales this morning!

Temperature dropped this morning. If it goes back up high very soon, I'd say this could be an implantation dip! I also got really good sleep last night for the first time in a while, so perhaps that influenced the temperature. We'll see!

This is my first week back to work after taking 3 short weeks to use up my vacation time. I worked 4 days, then had 3 days off, then worked 2 days, had 5 days off, then worked 2 days, and had another 5 days off (those days off include weekends). So it is hard having to work for a full week! I feel so tired! I only want to work 3 days a week, but get paid the same. OK?

I had trouble sleeping two nights ago, and the night before last I got pretty good rest but was still tired. Slept well again last night and I'm tired again today! I even took a nap when I got home from work yesterday. I just need to go to bed earlier, like 10pm.

No symptoms to report. Just waiting!

Got my ovulation coverline on Fertility Friend today. Basically, it is a red X on my chart that shows when I ovulated. It calculates it based on three days of high temperatures, which I have had. No symptoms or anything else to report! See ya later...

Added some more pictures to my house progress page. Check the new pictures out here.

Temp went even higher today, which is good. No symptoms yet to discuss, of course. Though, by now, the egg is either fertilized or not. =)

Also, I got a letter today saying that I'm going to get $1800 from my old company because they're cashing out my pension. After you deduct 20% taxes, it means I have enough money to buy an island in my kitchen (in the house we're building). You see, I really wanted the island so we'd have more counter space in the kitchen, but Kevin said no because there wasn't enough room. Then, when we saw a totally completed model of our house, we realized we definitely had enough room, so we regretted not getting the island. And, since it was about a thousand dollars, which we would have to pay our of our pockets since it was too late to add it to our mortgage, it was too expensive. Now, thanks to my pension check, we can afford it! So, I think we've gotten every upgrade to our house that I wanted, including:

- Upgraded brick on front, with brick "lock" around top window and with key stones.
- Island in kitchen.
- Gas fireplace in family room.
- "Open" downstairs design.
- Finished lower level (for a total of 3,072 sq. ft.!).
- Maple cabinets (though this wasn't an upgrade, suprisingly)
- Bigger bathtub and toilet
- Pergo (hardwood laminate) floors in the kitchen and dining room

And, we've saved up enough money to buy brushed steel appliances in the kitchen, which will look so beautiful. There were a few other upgrades, like garage door opener, sink in laundry room, or garbage disposal, but those seem like they should have just come with the house, and aren't really a luxury item, ya know?

Can you tell I'm excited about the house? =)

Temp went up today, which means I ovulated! It is strange, my temperatures for the last 4 days have been exactly the same as last month! So I guess I am pretty regular. And, for the last 3 months, I've ovulated on exactly the same cycle day each month.

I think our BD timing is good, though perhaps not as good as last month. We BDed on the two best days though, which should give us a great chance. Now I'm officially into the two-week wait, waiting to be able to test! What does this mean for you, the faithful and loyal readers of my blog? That means that for the next two weeks you'll be hearing of every slight symptom that I have that could possibly signal pregnancy. Isn't this fun?

We looked at the house yesterday, it was great! The second story isn't done yet, but there are more walls and the windows are cut out, so you can really see what the house is like now. I will try to get the pictures developed and online today so you can see them soon. We are still set on a move-in time of mid-November, but it could be a few weeks before or after that. Who knows!

Temp dropped today, which usually happens the day of or the day before ovulation. So this is prime ovulation time!

I had to stop taking Zytec because ovulation was coming, and now I'm feeling stuffy and sniffly because of allergies. Worst of all, the stuffiness is giving me a sinus headache, which sucks! But, it hasn't affected my asthma, so I'm OK as long as I don't get wheezy.

I was reading a book today that said that 25% of all pregnancies end in the first few days after implantation. I really think that's what happened to me last cycle. We BDed on exactly the right days, I had some (possible) implantation spotting, my temps rose higher than ever before, then they fell and I started spotting, then had my period. It is very possible this was an early miscarriage - it has all the signs. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Obviously it is bad to lose any pregnancy, but the good thing is that it means we're able to get pregnant easily. So that part is good news. We just need the lil guy to stick around!

Tomorrow we're going to check out the house again. Hopefully I will have some pictures to update the house progress page. =)

My temp was up slightly today, not enough to signal ovulation though. But it should be coming soon! We started BDing last night, and will keep doing so until a few days after I ovulate.

Not much else to report! Cross your fingers!

Well I feel pretty good today! My bronchitis seems to be almost gone. I'm going to the doctor again today though to check up and talk to him about what medications to take while TTC. I still have some antibotics to take, but the other medication is gone now.

I got a new thermoniter so my chart is accurate again. I've decided to start BDing a little early this month, just for good luck. So, we'll probably start tonight.

And, I have the rest of the week off for vacation, starting tomorrow. Hopefully since I feel much better now, I will enjoy it more than I did last week. Last week sucked because I was so sick - like two of the three days of vacation were totally ruined.

Well, I can't find my thermomiter so I have to buy another one. I'm sure the cats were playing with it and batted it into a corner somewhere, so I won't find it for 3 months. *sigh* Oh well, my period stopped today, so I didn't really need to take temperatures, but I'll need to start tomorrow! We're going to start BDing a day or so earlier this cycle, just to cover the bases.

Today Kevin and I went and looked at the house. We've actually got wood! They're starting to build the skeleton of the house and it looks really awesome! When you just have foundation there, it doesn't look like much, but it is actually starting to look like something now. I took a lot of pictures, but I need to use up the roll before I develop them. I'll probably use it up next week, so I'll add them to the house web site at that time. I'm so excited!

I went to the doctor on Thursday and he said that I have broncitis and sinusitis (basically, a sinus infection). I am now taking the following medications several times a day:

- Predisone
- Zyrtec D (with a decongestant)
- Cexphalexin (a antibiotic)
- Perscription prenatal vitamins

So far, I feel slightly better. A lot of the wheezing has gone. But I'm still coughing a lot.

The doctor made me start taking Zyrtec again as you can see, which means I have to postpone my allergy test that I described on Wednesday (because I won't be off antihistamines for 7 days now). I have another checkup on Tuesday with another allergy specialist just to talk to him though. To see when and if we can do the test, and what I can do when I get pregnant.

The doctor that I saw on Friday said that I shouldn't take any antihistamines while pregnant or breastfeeding. I guess it is a good thing I didn't get pregnant last month, since that was the one medication I kept taking. All the doctors don't really agree on what to take though, so it is kind of hard figuring it out.

For anyone interested in my house progress, here is a new page I made to show the progress.

My period definitely started today! So this now becomes Day One of my new cycle. I feel a little sad, but I'm slightly relieved that I at least know the answer to the question now (the question being, "Am I pregnant this month?" of course).

I think I'm really sick. I have really bad congestion and have been coughing non-stop for two days. (Kevin is getting so annoyed with my constant hacking, I feel sorry for him.) I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to see about getting some medicine. I think I might have pneumonia, I've had it before, and it was a lot like this! Although, the doctors used to think I had pneumonia all the time and it was just my allergies. So maybe that's the problem again. Usually some penicillin and/or prednesone helps. I can take whatever medicine now that I'm not pregnant! Least, for a few weeks. ;)

I'm also going to see a allergy specialist next week. So I have to stop using all antihistamines to prepare to take a three-hour long allergy test (which means that my allergy symptoms may even get worse if that's possible). Basically they subject you to various allergens and see if you're allergic to them. Then, after the test, I'll be able to say, "I'm a pet dander, ragweed, mold" like they do in those Zyrtec commercials. I will then ask the allergy specialist about how to control my allergies and asthma during pregnancy. I think that controlling my asthma will be one of the hardest parts of being pregnant! (Of course, I have no idea what I'm talking about, since I've never been pregnant before!). Just because I have trouble with breathing now, and during pregnancy you get a chronic stuffed up nose due to pregnancy hormones. That would make me sooo miserable. Supposedly, some women experience a temporary remission from allergies during pregnancy. That would be nice if that happens. =)

I'm on vacation for a few days (taking a few days off this week and a few days off next week) so I may not be updating the blog as early as I usually do. Even though I won't have much baby news while "Aunt Flo" is here. Hehehe.

Ahh, I really think I'm out of the race this month. My temperature took a nose dive again today. In fact, I would say I should start my period tomorrow, a day early.

It's not over until the Old Witch shows her face of course (Old Witch = Aunt Flo, which is a cute message board name for one's period). But let me tell you, my body is sending all the signals for her to visit.

So, what happened? Well, it's pretty obvious that we had great BD timing. When my egg was released, there were sperm there (unless there is some problem with them). From what I understand however, even if the sperm find the egg, there is a chance fertilization will still not occur. The egg only lets certain sperm fertilize it. It is unknown why, out of perhaps dozens of sperm the egg will choose only one, or none. Perhaps the genetic code of the sperm send out certail signals, and the egg in effect chooses the best sperm. Perhaps my egg last month was particularly picky. What a bitch she was, thinking she was so much better than everyone else! But, I guess having choosey eggs leads to a better baby, right?

There are of course other potential problems - sperm problems, or cervical mucus problems. But, I'm sure we'll figure it out eventually. We'll just keep at it month after month until we win! 50% of couples conceive in the first 4 months, so we've got a good chance to get pregnant pretty soon here! Maybe even before we move into our new house. ;)

Ugh, my temperature took a nasty dip this morning. My chart no longer looks triphasic, really.

Here's one theory I have. You see, I'm a really light sleeper, and Kevin snores pretty bad because of his allergies. So sometimes I end up sleeping on the couch because I can't get to sleep with him snoring next to me. So, since it is hayfever season, both of our allergies have been bad lately, and almost every night for the last week I spent at least half of the night on the couch.

Last night, however, was the first night for a while that I slept soundly through the whole night, all snug in my bed. So, I think because I wasn't sleeping well before, it might have made my temperatures artificially high. (Even though it is supposed to be accurate if you sleep for at least 2 hours straight, and I think I always did.)

I'm not saying there's no chance for me to be pregnant this month. I just think that my odds have gone down.

In all honesty, I'm starting to feel a little crampy, like my period is imminent. It's a little early for cramping though.

Also, I tested this morning and got a negative, again. I'm really starting to not trust these cheap tests I got. A woman on the fertilityfriend.com web site told me that her friend was pregnant and the tests she bought from the same place I bought mine didn't even show positive until 2 days after she missed her period. By then she had already gotten several positives from other store-bought pregnancy tests.

Anyway, let's hope my temperature goes back up tomorrow, and my period doesn't come! =)

Temp at 93.4 today! I love how my chart looks now. It is definitely starting to look triphasic. (Though, I must warn you that not all triphasic charts are 100% pregnancies.) I still have no symptoms at all, though. =/

I didn't take a pregnancy test this morning. I learned my lesson yesterday. =P But, I will probably take one tomorrow at 11 days past ovulation. Then every day after that. =) My period is due on 14 days past ovulation, and I should either test positive by then, or get my period! (Which we don't want to happen!)

I had a bad asthma attack this morning. I had to turn the shower on the highest temperature (so there was lots of steam) and stick my head in to breathe in the moisture. The steam really helps open my airways. I should go to a doctor, but I going to wait until I find out if I'm pregnant first. It's really just a few days away! ;) Then I can say, "Yes, I'm pregnant, we need to figure out how to keep my asthma under control without hurting the baby." or "No, I'm not pregnant, gimme any medications that will get rid of this!"

Bye for now! 4 more days to go!

Temp was up to 98.3 today, which is really good! I hope it stays up!

I broke down and took a pregnancy test today and it was negative. But at only 9 days past ovulation, it is way too early! I knew that ahead of time, so I'm not disappointed. I have 13 more tests to use anyway, hehe. =)

Today is my 30th birthday. Kevin's birthday is the 17th, he'll be 28. He's a young'un. ;) We're probably going to buy some special food as a birthday treat. Not really buying eachother presents because we're saving money for the new house. =) It feels strange being 30. It seems like I never thought I'd be this old, or maybe that I'd have done a lot more, ya know? But, I guess my next year I'll have a house, a husband and hopefully a new baby, then I'll have done a lot! =)

Temp is up slightly, but not much. I got a tiny bit of spotting yesterday. There are many potential reasons for spotting this early in my cycle (usually I have one day of spotting which happens a day or two before my period starts) and one of them is implantation! And if it was implantation spotting, I should really see my temperatures go up as protesterone increases to support the pregnancy.

I still don't really feel pregnant. I have no symptoms at all. But, if I'm not pregnant, there's always next month!

Ehhhh... temperature went back down.

There is something called a triphasic temperature chart. Basically, it means that you can take your temperature chart and split it into three levels: The low temperatures of pre-ovulation, the medium temperatures of post-ovulation, and then high temperatures of post-implantation (when your body is pregnant and releases progesterone to begin the pregnancy, which makes the temperature go higher). In about 30% - 40% of pregnant women, there is also a temperature dip during implatation (due to a surge of estrogen) that precedes the higher temps.

My temperatures were nice and high in the beginning, right after I ovulated, which was a great sign. They were much higher than last month. And then I got a llittle dip, which I thought COULD be from implantation. But implantation dips only last one day, and my temperature really hasn't gone back up again.

So, right now my chart doesn't look like a typical pregnancy chart. =( It is still possible to be pregnant! But the chart wouldn't be a good indication... And, I haven't experienced any symptoms either. Kevin says that last month I had lots of symptoms (I was probably feeling crappy after my HSG test) and thought I was pregnant but I wasn't, and this month I have no symptoms and don't think I'm pregnant but I probably am. =P I hope he's right!

Also, thanks Mom for posting some comments! It feels good to have feedback. =)

One last thing, my step-Mom in Oregon is sick and has to take these shots of antibiotics through an IV every day for two months. It really sucks for her. =( Hopefully everything goes well and she can get this OVER with and start feeling better. She has felt shitty for various reasons for quite some time, and she really deserves a break from being sick! So everyone send her good vibes, please. =)

Temperature went up slightly. I want to see it go up even a few more degrees though! I will probably take a pregnancy test in 5 days. I can't wait!

No real symptoms to report today. There was a slight drop in my temperature this morning, which I don't really like. You want to see the temperatures get really high and stay there. But, it could be an implantation dip. (In some women, their temperature dips during egg implantation.) But really, as long as the temperature doesn't go below my coverline (at 97.6) it's considered good. 18 days of tempratures over the coverline is a great indication of pregnancy.

We will now move the blog into "symptom-watch" mode. It's too early for the egg to implant, so there shouldn't be symptoms yet. But, as I did last month, I will soon decide that I have some, because I'll be overanalyzing everything! For example, am I starting to feel some boob soreness? Or, is it just that I've been squeezing them a lot to see if they're sore? Hmm...

I just added a few more things to the site! Firstly, you'll notice that I changed the design a bit. Post a comment to let me know if you have problems with it. And, you'll see my BabyMood indicator to the right. It is just a cute little thing that will let you know how I'm feeling! (As if the several paragraphs of text that I type aren't enough!)

Next, I've added a new thing that will allow users to comment on my posts! You see the little "comment" link at the bottom of each entry? Click on that and you can post a comment! Everyone should post something! =) I will test it now myself...

And lastly, I've also added a page view tracker to see how many people view the site. (It's at the very bottom of the page.)

By the way, I just added a link to my fertility chart in the left navigation menu, so you can access it easily!

The Fertility Friend software that I use to chart my cycles gave me a coverline today (meaning, it automatically put a red X on the day that it thinks I ovulated, based on certain signals, like temperature). I asked around, and some women said that they never get positive LHs also, or they'll get positives on some months but not on others. So, the theory now is that I ovulated on CD12 (Cycle Day 12) and I just didn't get a positive LH for whatever reason.

Given that I ovulated on CD12, our BD timing is really great. (In fact, a few women on my fertility web site even commented that it was great timing!) There's always a chance that you don't get pregnant in a given cycle, but we did everything we could to increase our chances! If we don't get pregnant this cycle, I'm going to try a few tricks to increase my cervical fluids. I never really did get the good fertile kind like a lot of women get.

Now we go into what's called the "Two Week Wait." Meaning, you have to wait about two weeks before you really know if you're pregnant! I will probably start testing in a week or so, since I have like 15 pregnancy tests and I might as well use them. ;) However, given my record with the ovulation predictor (LH) tests, they might not work on me either!

In other news, yesterday I had a headache so bad that I pretty much slept all day. I'm sure it was like a sinus headache, probably caused by the fact that I haven't been taking my allergy medication (I stopped taking it because it dries up cervical fluid). So, I started taking it again yesterday, though I'm trying Singulair instead of Zyrtec. I feel a LOT better today already. I did wake up long enough to watch the Oklahoma football game with Kevin. OU beat North Texas 37-3 (I think). It was a fun game!

Temperature stayed high, but still no positive LH test!

Either I've got a strange chart where I'll test LH positive after a temperature spike, or I missed the LH surge somehow. Or maybe there's a medical problem? From what I understand, you can have an LH surge with no egg, but you don't have a pogesterone surge (indicated by the temperature spike)with no egg, though I could be wrong.

Well, we've been BDing every night since the middle of my cycle. So if a egg snuck by, it should have some little guys waiting for it! LOL.

So, I got a temperature spike today, but no positive LH test yet. So, I'm hoping to get one today! Usually the positive LH test happens before the progesterone-related temperature spike, but it's also very common that it happens on the same day. If I don't get a positive LH test today, I'm not sure what that means! Either my test strips don't work, or I missed it somehow, or... I'm not sure. I also haven't really gotten any fertile cervical mucous yet. Though, the truth is I'm not exactly sure what amount or kind I'm capable of making. Many women don't make the really obvious fertile kind. I haven't been paying attention to myself long enough to know!

It looks like today will be an important day though. Stay tuned! =P

Hmm... no temperature spike this morning. Hopefully tomorrow? We're going to keep BDing until the day after that temperature spike. =)

I have a meeting at 8:30 am this morning (yuk!) so I gotta go!

So, if you look at my chart, you'll see that my temperature dropped this morning. That usually means a surge of LH is coming into my system, and ovulation is soon. When you see a temperature spike (I anticipate one tomorrow), that means that a bunch of progesterone came into my system. The progesterone tells the uterus to prepare for pregnancy by building up the lining of the endometrium (the inside of the uterus). The progesterone stays high until either a fertilized egg is implanted, or it isn't. If an egg does implant, the progesterone stays in the system and thus your temperature remains high (so, if my temperature never drops, that's a good sign of pregnancy). If no egg is implanted, the progesterone levels plummit, as does my temperature. With no progesterone to keep it up, the uterus sheds the inner lining, which means I get my period. =( On my fertility tests yesterday (one in the afternoon and one at night), both showed small levels of LH in my system, but no official "surge." But, it looks like today will be the day before ovulation, and tomorrow should be ovulation. We went ahead and BDed last night even though it was a low % chance of pregnancy night, but you can never be too sure! We will BD every night until the day after my temperature spike.

After we BDed last night, I put my hips up on a pillow to ... uhh, how do I say this politely?... make sure nothing was lost. I stayed like that for two hours, and then went to sleep. There's no real scientific evidence that this helps, but it just makes sense that you'd want to keep as much in there as you can. =P

It looks so far like my cycle is going to be extremely regular, which is really good. This is only my first month after stopping birth control pills, and usually doctors recommend waiting 3 months after you stop the pills, in order to regulate your cycle. But like I said, so far it looks like I'm really regular. I only took BC pills like a month though, so they must not have screwed up my system like they do to women who take them for years.

Oh, and also, Kevin and I saw our house last weekend! It was just the foundation (with dirt floor), but that's a good start! There was an empty mountain dew bottle in our house! We haven't even moved in yet and it's already a mess. =)

It was funny because it looked so small. I guess because of perspective. There's also some power generator or something (I forget what Kevin said it was... it was a big green box) right on the border of our backyard. Kinda sucks. What if it is dangerous for kids?

Good morning! Well, ovulation is coming soon! I got my test kits yesterday, and I actually used on just for the fun of it. No LH surge.

The Lutenzing Hormorne (LH) is the hormone that tells your body to release an egg. So, these kits test for it. When I see an LH surge in my urine, that means that the egg will be released soon! That, in comination with my charting, will really give me a good idea of ovulation - practically to the hour! As you may know, the egg may live only a few hours, so sometimes BDing every day is not enough. You may have to BD at a certain TIME of day! So, from now on, I am going to test LH twice a day until I see ovulation.

So I was in the library the other day, and this lady was there with her 10-week-old little girl. I felt so uncomfortable because I kept staring at the baby, and I couldn't help but smile! I know mothers are used to having people going ga-ga over their babies, but I didn't want to look like a stalker or something. It's OK to look and smile nicely, but don't stare and grin and drool! When I was leaving the library, the mother whispered to me "fertility monitor!" I realized she saw that I had checked out some books about how to get pregnant and that was her advice. I told her that's exactly what I was doing! ("Fertility monitors" are basically $200 ways to do what I'm doing for $13).

Well as you can see from my charts, I ovulated on day 12 last month, and I'm on day 8 this already this month. I still haven't gotten my ovulation test kit yet, so I'd better get it soon! If I don't get it, we'll just have to start TTC the old-fashioned way. =P

Kevin and I bought this new game called Shadowbane but it kind of sucks. Supposedly the part of the game where you fight other players is fun, but it is so boring building your character up to get to the point where you can fight other players that I'm not sure that we'll make it that far. We'll see. =)

Hey it just sunk in that it's Friday today! That's always great news! =)

Sorry for no update yesterday, I got thousands of angry e-mails from my hordes of fans, and I apologize to each and every one of you.

No baby news - except my period is over now. Just waiting to ovulate, then we can start TTC again. =)

Dentist went ok... he did both cavities at once, so I ended up with THREE shots to numb me. (Usually they just do one.) The whole side of my face was dead! It sucked trying to eat lunch with no feeling in my mouth, hehe.

Diet was ok yesterday, I ate a little more that I should have last night. But, we got a few items from the store, so I should do better today. I still feel more tired than usual... like last month I had the energy to come home and exercise almost every day. But, perhaps it was BECAUSE I was exercising every day that I had that energy. That's something to think about!

I'm almost done with a big project at work. I've been working on it for like 2 weeks because I'm basically creating and compiling all the content myself. I will link to it when I'm done. =) (Hopefully today!!!)

Talk to you later...

Today I talked to our realtor, and she says our house will be done in about 90 days. That seems like a long time away. But, from now on, we should start seeing a lot of pregression. We'll have a lot of things to choose and buy and lots of decisions to make. Hopefully time will fly until we move in. =)

I did good on my diet today, except I'm really hungry! But I stayed on my points, maybe a little lower even. I need to do some grocery shopping to get some more filling foods. Today I had a sandwich for lunch and it just didn't cut it. I also did an hour of yoga tonight. It was actually a prenatal yoga video that I borrowed from the library, it was really fun! I would love to be able to wake up and do it each morning when I'm pregnant. I'll see if I can buy the tape later on (I just checked on Half.com and it is only $6. So I should be able to afford it after a bit.).

I'm going to go clean out the litter box (while I still can, since it is off limits when pregnant) so Kevin doesn't have to do it and then take a long bath as a reward. =)

Tomorrow I get my cavities filled. Hooray....

No baby news, of course. =P

Went to the dentist today and I have two tiny cavities. I told them I was trying to get pregnant, so they want to fill the cavities now (or, "weak spots" as they called them, not quite yet cavities), since I shouldn't get cavities filled while pregnant. So I have an appointment for this Thursday to get them filled, which will be before we TTC again.

Also, they started digging our house today! Supposedly they're going to try to actually finish the house by the end of September, which is just a few weeks away! It is so fun to get married, get pregnant and move into a brand new home! I'm soooo excited! I really, really hope I'm pregnant as we're moving into our house! How neat will that be? Then I don't have to lift anything as we move. =D

As for my diet, I didn't do well again today! I've been trying to follow Weight Watchers again, but today I ate too many points. I end up so hungry by the end of the day that I have to eat something so my stomach stops growling. So, I need to save up more points earlier in the day. I'm still too sick (coughing a little bit still) to exercise, or else I'd be able to burn off the extra points I ate. Oh well, there is always tomorrow! I just need to get my eating back on track before getting pregnant - the doctor doesn't want me to gain any weight at all during the pregancy, and I'll have to be really careful to make sure it happens that way.

Kevin and I did go for a 3.5-mile walk last night, which was really fun. I was actually able to walk quickly the whole way - I felt really good. Kevin said it was because I was pumped up on steroids (the medicide for my cough!). =P I would like to get my treadmill fixed though, so I can walk like that every day (it is broken right now).

Also, did I mention that I bought some fertility tests and home pregnancy tests from a web site (this one here)? They were like $15 for a package of 15 ovulation and 10 hpt tests or something (honestly I forgot which package I bought). In the store it costs like $15 for ONE pregnancy test! Of course, these are just strips of chemical paper, no fancy plastic coverings or anything. But hey, if they work, they work. Right? With the ovulation tests, I will be able to test twice a day and make SURE of when I ovulate, so we can BD right then. (BD means "baby dance" which is another term used in the internet "fertility circles" to describe the act of making babies =). That will give us good chances for a boy, which Kevin will be happy about. Then, if we have a boy, I will try hard next time for a girl! Then the third baby can be whatever it wants to be. =)

Hmm... I wonder if anyone reads this blog anymore. =P

Still coughing a lot today, so I actually stayed home from work. I don't feel bad other than the asthma/coughing, so I hope I will be able to do a lot of work from home.

If you're interested in seeing my temperature tracking chart, it's here: http://circles2.fertilityfriend.com/home/291e9

I'm starting my second cycle now, but in truth, it appears that we got the "greenlight" to TTC a day too late. We probably missed my ovulation by HOURS. When you look at the chart, the big red X is when ovulation occurs.

Well, I started my period today, so all hope is lost. =P I already went ahead and took my predisone (by the way, predisone is the WORST tasting pill I've ever had the misfortune to take!!) and Flonaise, which I'm happy about. So hopefully I'll start feeling better. I think this whole time I really just had a cold, which made me feel kind of crappy. That's another reason why I knew I wasn't pregnant, because I've been feeling BETTER these past few days than I did last week, as opposed to having worsening pregnancy symptoms.

Knowing that my period was imminent yesterday, I went to the library and borrowed some fertility books. I'm also going to buy some ovulation predictor strips, to make sure we time everything right.

Wish us luck! =)

Still no period, but my temperature dropped to below the red line on my cycle chart, which just about assures that my period is imminent. I am really suprised it hasn't started already, in fact, even though it is only the 25th day of my cycle. I need a really irregular temperature spike at this point (and no period!) in order to be pregnant and I doubt doubt doubt I'll get it.

I guess it is good in one way. I have been having asthma problems, and actually had to go to urgent care for breathing treatments yesterday. The Emergency room doctor prescribed predisone and Flonaise, which are both steriods. They are Class C drugs, which means they are not well-tested in pregnancy, but the FDA has still approved them. Basically it says they're not TOO bad, but they're not sure of the long-term impact on the baby.

The ER doctor was really pressuring me to take them, because he said that lack of oxygen is much worse that one dose of predisone, which is surely true. Also, they prescribe these drugs to pregnancy women all the time, with no problems.

However, I asked my OB doctor what she thought, and she said no, don't take them! Get another treatment! Honestly, I'm not even sure there is another treatment that actually works. Predisone will just whip me into shape in a few days, and I'll stay good for several months. It's that powerful.

Anyway, so I've been putting off taking the medication. If I start my period, I can take the treatment and be feeling better before we even start TTCing again ("Trying To Concieve" for all you non-TTCers out there). If I don't start my period and end up being pregnant, I may have to suffer with bad sniffles, coughing and frequent minor asthma attacks for quite some time! Actually, if I am pregnant, I may actually take the predisone in the second or third trimester, when there is less development of the fetus. That should be a little safer. I'll have to talk to my OB about it in a little more depth though.

The other good thing about starting my period TODAY would be that it means I have 25-day cycles, which is really short. That's great for TTC.

Here's hoping for a miracle, temperature-dropping baby! =)

Well, my temperature is slowly dropping, and I am starting to feel cramps, which means I will probably start my period today. =(

Next month I will continue charting my temperature, as well as using an ovulation test kit to determine when I ovulated.

I guess I will go through these 2 weeks of hope each month. =P

Had a temperature drop last night. That could be a good sign of implantation of the egg in the uterus. I took my temperature again today and it went way up, which would be a really good sign for pregnancy if it stays up.

No real pregnancy symptoms except I'm still really tired.

I wouldn't be so lucky to get pregnant on the first try, would I? =)

(Don't worry, this optimism will fade as the months go by with no pregnancy. A bit of failure may make me more realistic.)

I was reading this book last night called "From Conception to Birth" and it takes a scientific approach to pregnancy.

One thing that it said was that immediately after fertilization, the body recognizes the chemical change in the egg, and begins gently contracting muscles in the fallopian tubes and moving tiny hairs called cilia which push the egg down towards the uterus.

It also chronicles the sperms' journey up through the uterus to find the egg. There are an incredible number of hazards along the way, including white blood cells, which see the sperm as outside invaders and hunt them down and kill them. Out of hundreds of thousands of sperm, only a few dozen make it to the fallopian tubes. And then they must choose the left or right tube. Half of them will make the wrong decision. The neat thing about this process is that it ensures that only the strongest - and luckiest! - sperm survive.

Monday blahs. No real news to report. Eight more days until I can find out if I'm pregnant. I will begin a countdown. =)

Went to the fair. Ate corn. Bought many pies. =D

When asked if I "looked" pregnant, my mom said, "Yeah! Maybe. Well, I don't know." So, with that vote of confidence, I am logging off for tonight. =)

I felt really lazy today so I took a long nap. I think it was more of weekend relaxation rather than pregnancy tiredness.

I also read today that it takes 7 - 12 days for the actual implantation to occur (before that your body doesn't even know you're pregnant) - it hasn't even been 7 days yet! Hrmph. So I guess whether or not I'm pregnant, all my so-called symptoms have been in my head anyway. =)

I've decided that I'm going to try to do better in terms of eating healthy food. I've been off-plan almost every day this week, except maybe two. Haven't gained weight, but haven't lost any either. If I'm pregnant, I'm worried that I'll use it as an excuse to eat poorly. I find myself doing it already. So I just need to psych myself up more to be healthy whether I'm pregnant or not.

I grabbed a cat and swaddled him in a blanket tonight, and the paraded him around like he was a newborn. Kevin even held the "baby" for a while. I also went on babiesrus.com and looked through baby items. I actually started a baby registry there. In order to start a registry, I had to lie and say the baby was due on July 8, 2003. That would actually be close to my due date if we get pregnant this month. =P The online registry thing is cool though, that way you don't end up with 52 blankets or 5 of the same toy. I just wish I had more friends to buy me stuff. ;)

Tomorrow I'm meeting my mom to go to the Indiana State Fair. I'm not a fair person really, but we're going to get some of my aunt's delicious pie, which is being sold there. Kevin is addicted to it. I asked my mom to look at me and see if she can tell if I'm pregnant or not. Sometimes moms can tell supposedly. =P It's bullshit, I know. But it's still fun. =)

I've got about 2 more weeks to wait and see...

So, this morning I woke up with my back just killing me. It was so stiff I could hardly bend over. I also felt a little sick to my stomach while eating breakfast. Hmmm... neither of which are outside the realm of normalcy however. Sometimes I just have a sore back for no reason. =P

I should change the name of this blog to be "Complaint Blog," don't you think?

Well, this is my first experiement with a blog. If you're reading this, you're probably part of the family and you'll forgive me if I spell something wrong or do something against blogg etiquette.

So, I little bit of history first. First, I've been married to a wonderful guy, Kevin, for hrmmm... well, since May. I was going to say 3 years, because we've been living together that long, but we weren't married the whole time, though it seems like it. =)

Now that we're married and moving into a great big new 5-bedroom house, we've decided to fill up those five bedrooms with babies! And, as you probably know, the cheapest way to acquire a baby is to make one yourself.

For the past year or so, I've been getting ready for momhood. I've been trying to lose weight, going to the dentist, blah blah blah. Around the same time, I went to the OBGYN to get on birth control pills for the next year or so (since I have more weight to lose, I thought it would be a good idea). I ended up going to Planned Parenthood to get the pills because no one could get me an appointment fast enough, and I wanted to have the pills by the time we went on our honeymoon. =P

During the appointment, the doctor was digging around, and she says to me, "Hmmm... your cervix is very firm. I can feel lots of pressure. I think maybe you have a fibroid." I was horrified. What is that? I remember my mom had a fibroid, and she had to have a hysterectomy. So then she finished things up, and said, "Okay let me think about this fibroid thing a minute" and left me to get dressed.

While getting dressed, my heart was beating like it was going to explode out of my chest. I wished Kevin was with me. Yet, I was remarkably optimistic. It's kind of like when you get run over by a car, and you have the adrelaline rush enough to lift the car off yourself. She didn't seem that concerned. If it was sooo serious, she would have blurted it out so casually. Err, wouldn't she?

After 456 days waiting in the office and biting off almost all of my nails, the doctor comes back. "Well," she says, "I think you just have a retrograde uterus. If you had a fibroid, you'd have more painful periods, and extra bleeding. As it is, you say your periods are fine. So, I think the firmness I'm feeling is just because your uterus is tilted."

Well there you have it. A tilted uterus. When asked about the affect on fertility, my doctor said, "If the sperm get in there, they will find their way to the tubes regardless of the angle!" When I got home that night, I did lots of research on the internet. Some Web sites say that a titled uterus can affect fertility. Other Web sites say the first set of Web sites are liars. Whatever, I just know that if I'm different, that's not ideal.

Anyway, I decided to have a second opinion. Mostly because the Planned Parenthood doctor was so wishy-washy about the whole thing. It was like she pratically tossed a coin to decide what was up with my uterus.

So after our honeymoon, I found an OBGYN at the nicest hospital in the area. During her appointment, she immediately said I had a fibroid as soon as she started feeling around. "Yep," she said. "I can feel it right there." This time I wasn't so sad. I guess because I'd done some research on fibroids by this point. Most women have them, and most time they're not dangerous. But still, an abnormality. =(

But when I went home and told Kevin, I was sad all over again. The problem is that if I had a fibroid so large it caused doctors to think I had a retrograde uterus simply because this giant watermelon was pushing my uterus forward, that's not a good thing. If the fibroid is too big, it can interfere with fertility. And the fibroids actually grow during pregnancy (they thrive on estrogen) so they can become problematic. Also, if the fibroid is big enough AND inside the uterus (most fibroids grow on the muscle layers on the outside of the uterus), it can actually block the birth canal. I'm sure you can imagine the trouble with that.

If the fibroid is large, they will need to operate before I can get pregnant. The problem is, sometimes during this operation, there is scar tissue that damages the uterus so much that you can't have children. So in order to have children, I have to have an operation that could leave me barren.

Next step, an ultrasound to find out how big these suckers are. How sad that my first ultrasound is not during my 15th week of pregnancy. =( The nurse who does the ultrasound won't tell me any results, either good or bad, so I was rather miffed. Since I wanted to get the results right away, I immediately requested personal copies of the ultrasound photos for myself. They have to give them to you, ya know. So a few hours after my ultrasound, I get my copies. Kevin and I tear them open in the parking lot outside the hospital. Even without the years of medical training that is normally required to make any sense of ultrasound photos, Kevin and I can immediately discern... pretty much nothing. We can tell there are some globs inside of me, but who knows what they are. They could be pelvic bones, for all we know. I already knew that I had pelvic bones.

So again, I get on the internet to do some research. Amazingly, I was able to find a site which had an ultrasound of a fibroid displayed on it. That was helpful, so I could compare my ultrasound to that one. What helped most of all, however, was that I figured that in the ultrasound itself, the nurse had made little tickmarks to measure items in the view. One item measured 15cm. That's like the size of a grapefruit. That's bad. =( But, I notice another item that's also measured and it appears to be a long tube. Hmm! So, maybe my internal organs, like tubes and uterus, are some of the items being measured! Ah! That made me feel better.

Alas, I was right. My uterus was 15cm, which is actually enlarged (the size of a 12-week pregancy). My largest fibroid (I have several) is 2.7 cm. Like the size of a marble. Not big enough to operate on. Hooray!

Now, the interesting part of this whole thing is that our whole attitude toward pregnacy changed when faced with the possibility that I might not be able to have children. The fact is that having children is one of the most important things you can do in your life, and Kevin and I both felt that we wanted to make sure this happened - and happened SOONER rather than LATER. You see, I've been waiting many years for the perfect situation to arise in which to have a baby. I wanted the perfect man (I admit that's an important factor =P), the perfect house, the perfect income, the perfect body. But the fact is, my life is NEVER going to be perfect. While waiting for all of those things, I developed fibroids. If I wait another year, who knows what could happen during that time? Both Kevin and I came to the same decision independantly - we no longer wanted to wait.

So, when my doctor was telling me that my fibroids were not big enough to operate on, I immediately told her that we wanted to go ahead and have a baby as soon as possible. We set a time for a pre-conception appointment.

During the visit I got a diet plan, a perscription for prenatal vitamins, and some bad news - she wanted another test before we actually tried to concieve. I had to have a HSG - I won't try to spell it. =P Basically, they stick a tiny tube in your who-who which goes deep into your uterus. Then they inject some liquid through it and watch the liquid on an xray. The liquid flows through your uterus and fallopian tubes. It really hurt. =( It felt like the worst period cramps I'd ever had. Like someone was standing on my uterus. One of the assistants noticed I was wincing, and she asked me if I was OK. I said I was very uncomfortable, but I wasn't about to scream and cry or anything. Then I asked, "So, how long does this pain last?" "Hmm, just 48 hours or so," she said. Wow, THAT sucks. I certainly wasn't going back to work! Luckily, after I went to the bathroom and walked around a little, things felt much better.

The radiologist at this procedure was very nice, and she actually told me that my xrays so far looked pretty good, she didn't see any blockages or abnormalities. I asked her if she saw any submucosal fibroids (the kind that are inside the uterus and interfere with pregancies) and she said no, but she would have to look more closely during her official study of the xrays. She did add though, that if they were a big problem, she probably would have seen them by now. So I left the hospital pretty upbeat about the whole thing.

Even though I had gotten good news, I broke down outside of the hospital while waiting for Kevin and started to cry. I'm not sure why. It wasn't like a happy crying either. I just felt uncomfortable, irritated and dirty (it wasn't a clean procedure, let's just leave it at that). I wanted to go home BADLY, and Kevin was taking his own sweet time to come pick me up (OK, it took like 6 minutes, but it was 6 minutes too long!). Kevin was, of course, happy to hear my uterus got good reviews from the radiologist.

The HSG was done on Wednesday, and by that weekend I felt like I was about to ovulate (based on temperature and other signs). So, if we didn't want to miss this cycle, we would have to get busy pretty soon. My doctor was out sick, so again I requested copies of my xrays. This time I lucked out and got my radiologist report too! Here is what it said:

"The uterus is normal in morphology and is anteverted in positioning. No abnormal filling defects or adhesions are seen. There is filling of both fallopian tubes which are normal in caliber. There is free spillage of contract material from both fallopian tubes into peritoneal cavity."

And also:

"IMPRESSIONS: Normal hysterosalpingogram with free spillage of contrast into peritoneal cavity. The fallopian tubes are uterus are normal in morphology."

Before you get a dictionary, "morophology" is basically the shape of things. "Anteverted in positioning" means NOT retrograde (so, my uterus is tilted normally). "No abnormal filling defects or adhesions are seen" is probably the best part - no fibroids inside the uterus! "Filling of both fallopian tubes" means that I don't have a defect or problem that fuses the tubes together, making it impossible for an egg to travel into that side, or for a fertilized egg to travel to the uterus. "Free spillage of contract material from both fallopian tubes into peritoneal cavity" - honestly, I'm not sure about this one. The Peritoneal cavity is basically your body cavity... it seems I wouldn't want anything spilling from my fallopian tubes into my body cavity! But, I gather that this is a normal thing.

So, after reading the report, Kevin and I are so happy that we go ahead and do the deed. Note that this is the 13th day of my cycle. Right on time!

The doctor called me the next morning and said that everything was great and we had the green light to go ahead and try to get pregnant. Little did she know that I had stolen the test results and we had already ummm... gone through the intersection, so to speak. =)

Now the waiting begins...

So, the day after our first attempt at getting pregnant, I was tired! That's a good sign, right? I also felt a pang of sensation in the spot where my right ovary would be. Most women that say they can feel their ovulation say it feels like a quick stab of light pain. I've never thought I could feel myself ovulating before, but now I was paying REAL close attention. Or, perhaps it was just a normal feeling that just happens for no reason now and then, and I was assigning it extra value because I WANTED it to be ovulation.

The whole day, I felt like a sensation in my reproductive organs area. It reminded me of the feeling I have when I'm about to start my period. Like very, very slight cramping. That day I came home from work and went to sleep right away because I was so tired.

So far, all good signs I think!

But the last two days, I've really felt nothing. No twings or pangs or sensations, and honestly I'm not that tired. I HAVE been going to the bathroom a lot... but I've been drinking a lot too! Is thirst a symptom of pregnancy?

Oh, well, I will keep you updated on all my little theories for the next week or so until my period is due, and we get the REAL story. Am I pregnant or not? =)