I'm done with the Clomid and now waiting to ovulate. My temps have been up recently, I'm not sure if I'm sick or maybe stressed from moving. Or maybe it is because I haven't been sleeping too well. I hope it isn't because I ovulated!

Today I have my ultrasound. It is so hard fitting my baby stuff in with all the moving stuff. We close on the house tomorrow and are moving on Friday. So I have LOTS of little things I need to get done.

Other than the strange temps, I'm excited about this cycle. I got some PreSeed lubricant, which is supposed to help the sperm swim. I also have a new theory about how to BD that I'm going to try (won't get into details here!). I hope everything works out, I'd love to have a positive pregnancy test in my new house!

Speaking of the new house, it just looks so awesome! It is totally done now, we're just waiting to close on it. We did the walk through on Monday, and pretty much the only things needing fixing were some scrapes on the walls and some paint splatters on the trim. The appraiser valued the house at 5,000 more than we will pay for it, so we got a good deal. We already have 9% equity in the house, and we haven't made a single payment. She also said that if our house was located in Crown Point or St. John, it would be worth $225,000! Of course, the property values in Lowell where our house is will keep going up, so eventually we should be in that range. That's a nice increase in value!

I posted this on a board today, so I'll use it as my update:

My insurance doesn't cover infertility, so my OB has been billing my treatments as PCOS. This is now my third cycle with this OB, and I'm starting to get bills from my first cycle (where we were trying to get a diagnosis of what was going on) and my first ultrasound has been denied by my insurance company. The insurance company says that even though the ultrasound was billed as PCOS, they consider it infertility treatment. The insurance company wants the office notes from my OB to determine if it was related to infertility or not.

Now, for the second cycle, I can understand the insurance company's point (since at that point we determined I had PCOS and IR, and the second ultrasound was more to determine how I was responding to Clomid). But the FIRST cycle was really trying to get a diagnosis of what was wrong with me - and that should be covered.

I haven't spoken to my OB directly yet, so I'm not sure what she'll say. But, if the worst case scenerio happens, and my treatments won't be covered, what options do I have?

The ultrasounds are $420. The CD 21 bloodwork is $210 (the insurance company hasn't argued about this yet, but I assume they will try). Clomid costs $25 and HCG shot costs $49. Progesterone treatment is $10. Obviously, this is a lot of money each cycle, and I'm not even into IUIs or injections yet (though I'm responding GREAT to Clomid, so I assume they won't be necessary).

Here are my thoughts:

1. I might be able to "talk down" some of the prices since these are what they are charging the insurance company, and usually they give a break to people when insurance doesn't pay.

2. Perhaps I could see an RE or something who has a package deal for people who don't have insurance. Like $300 a cycle or so, right? Maybe I'll get better treatment that way too?

3. Maybe I could get additional insurance somehow? That might be as expensive as $300 a cycle though. Plus, if I enter into the insurance with my current infertility situation, perhaps they won't cover me, knowing that's what I'm looking for.

4. I could always have an unmonitored Clomid cycle, but so far I've gotten the impression that my OB's office doesn't like to do that. (Though, perhaps now that they've seen how I react to one cycle, maybe they'll be fine doing the same treatment without monitoring?)

My period started today! I added the exclaimation point because I'm relieved it finally showed up. Sometimes it can take a week (or more!) for your period to start after you take progesterone supplements (because the high levels of progesterone actually delay the start of your period). In some women it doesn't start at all, and it must be brought on with another medication. Luckily it only took me a few days. Never have I been so happy to start my period.

I've given two weeks notice to my apartment complex - which means it looks like we'll actually be moving in two weeks. God, I hope! I need to try to do some packing today.

One word: negative! My temp went up though - what's going on? I guess the progesterone is keeping it up.

I knew that the progesterone would keep my temperature higher, but I thought that it would still drop a bit as my natural progesterone fell. Perhaps I'm wrong. We'll see! I'll call the OB today.

I posted this on a message board today, so I'll cheat and use it as my update:

For the past week, I've been SO depressed. Some of it is because I'm sure this cycle didn't work - I'd have symptoms or a positive pregnancy test by now. But it is much more than that! I'm at work now, and I'm on the verge of crying. I'm sad about my cycle, and I keep thinking negative thoughts about whether or not I will ever be pregnant... but I just feel abnormally sad.

When I'm super-moody from the hormones, it feels like the worst migrane I've ever had - but without my head actually hurting! Meaning, I feel sensitivity to light, noises and people's voices irritate the hell out of me, I couldn't focus on anything, I had a short attention span, and I wanted to just lay in bed in the dark.

I have really low hormones, that's part of my infertility problem. But, I think they are also the reason I've never really had PMS or bad periods or moodiness. I'm always perky and happy!

But now that I've had my first taste of strong female hormones, it is tough for me to cope. I keep trying to remind myself what I'm doing this for - a little baby of my own. But that makes me sad again as well, because I'm having so much trouble getting pregnant!

My temp has been going down slowly for the past 3 days, so I decided that I would only test today if my temp went up (since these tests cost like $8). Well, fate decided that I needed to lose eight bucks, because my temp went up slightly, so I tested and it was negative. GREAT!! (That's sarcasm, in case it didn't come across.) Oh well. Anyway, I will take another test tomorrow, though there is only a 17% chance I can be pregnant (or else the test would have caught it).

Need to start thinking about next cycle...

Sorry I haven't posted for a while. Just been in the two-week wait, and waiting and waiting and waiting.

I went in on CD 21 and had my bloodtest. I scored 16 on progesterone and 158 on estradiol. That means I DID ovulate, and not too badly. They wanted 20 on the progesterone, so now I've been taking progesterone suppliments. I hate them. They are icky and make me very moody. Kevin has definitely noticed it.

We were joking today that perhaps the reason I am such a nice person is because my hormones are so low. I have easy periods, no PMS, I'm always perky and happy. Now that I have REAL female hormones I'm more of a bitch. HA! I feel really whiney too. Oh well, I guess that means the shit is working, right?

Wednesday is CD 28, when I'm due for my period and when I'm supposed to take a pregnancy test. I've already taken one expensive test and one cheap test, and they were both negative. But, that's probably to be expected, it was really early.

I've had no symptoms so far, and if I was pregnant, I would probably be having some symptoms by now. But there have been none, other than general bitchiness, probably caused by the progesterone suppliments (bloating and depression are the two main side-effects).

I will take another test tomorrow though, and see how that goes. I will use the ClearBlue Easy test, which is a very good one. If I am pregnant, there is an 83% chance I'll know tomorrow (based on the accuracy of the test). I love ClearBlue Easy stuff, man, they are the best at everything.

I'm depressed about this cycle though. I was so worried a few days ago about having triplets, and now I'm sad that not a single egg made it! Well, it is still possible I'm pregnant (though my chart isn't great and I have no symptoms) but it is quite unlikely that I'm having twins or more! Just because I really SHOULD be having some symptoms and positive tests with twins!

There is a girl at my work who is pregnant. Maybe 4 months or so, I don't know. She is really small and is wearing giant maternity clothes which her stomach doesn't fill in yet. I look at her all the time because I'm so jealous and happy for her. It is kind of like having a rock star work in my office. I want to try to come up with some way to talk to her, so I can have a pregnancy friend, but I don't know her. Plus, I'm not pregnant, so I would only be like stalking her. When I get pregnant and get to 18 weeks though (so I don't have to worry as much about a miscarriage), then I'll talk to her (though she'll probably have a baby by then!). Oh well.

Anyway, cross your fingers and send me good thoughts for tomorrow.

Everything seems to be going well.

The HCG shot made me a little strange and dizzy. I was just very uncaring about trivial things... like work, hah. But that feeling went away after about a day.

On day 14, I experienced some pretty obvious ovulation pains, almost all day long, on both sides. So I knew exactly what was going on in there.

Now it is 4 days past ovulation, and I haven't really noticed any big symptoms. I have had some cravings for certain foods, but I've been trying to eat higher protein and lower carbs, so that is probably why I've been craving some things. Actually, my biggest craving was for dairy, like milk and ice cream.

I've been having a little twinge in my right ovary-area today. Should be too early for any implantation, but just a feeling worth mentioning anyway. No sore boobs or anything like that. Anything I'm feeling will probably be related to higher levels of progesterone than I've experienced previously.

Speaking of progesterone, I go in on Wednesday to have a blood test to check my progesterone levels. I know their much higher than before, but we need to find out if they're high enough (meaning, higher than 20). If they're not over 20, they will give me progesterone suppliments to help support a possible pregnancy.

If there are the beginnings of a baby somewhere inside of me, right now he is just a little ball of cells - possibly as many as a few dozen cells already - bumping and rolling along my fallopian tubes. Little fibers are back and forth, pushing my little baby-ball along, towards my uterus. I feel like perhaps I should not jump around or move too abruptly, so as not to send the little guy off course. Oh, but that's just being silly!

Hi there!

I posted something a few days ago, but it looks like it didn't save for some reason. Hmm.

Oh well. Anyway, as I posted on Monday, I grew three follicles (25 mm, 20 mm, and 19 mm). The OB said that the two smaller follicles would not trigger, but I've asked around a lot online and that isn't quite what other people are saying. Most women say their doctors say one that the HCG shot will trigger ALL follicles to rupture, but only mature eggs will be able to be fertilized. Some doctors say a "mature" egg is 18 mm, some doctors say 20 mm.

So, I'm a little worried about multiples. I guess the fact is that each egg has only a 15% chance to become a baby, and the truth is that I have additional problems, like the fibroids, but still I'm worried!

At the same time, I'm really excited. The PROBABILITY is that at least one, and probably only one, will implant. So, I have a better chance this month than at any other time.

Sorry I haven't posted for a while, we had guests and I've been pretty busy.

I took my round of Clomid, and didn't really experience any side-effects other than drowsiness. I took the pill right before bed, so it didn't matter.

The good news is - it worked! I have three follicles, one is 25 mm! So, I will get an HCG shot today to trigger my ovulation (and strengthen it) and start BDing tonight! The OB said that since the other two follicles are smaller (20 mm and 19 mm) they shouldn't be triggered by the HCG shot, so I should release one good egg. I'd rather not have multiples if I can help it, but of course I'll be happy with whatever I get. :)

I'll post again later...

We got the results of the sperm analysis back - everything is great! 90% morphology and 75% motility, and a pretty good count. Those morphology and motility numbers are REALLY great. So, we're of course very excited about that. :)

Tonight I'm starting my first Clomid round. I'm going to take the pill before going to bed, so that I can sleep through as many side-effects as possible. I'm very excited about starting it - I'd love to see how my body responds.

Since it isn't covered by my insurance, I have to pay for everything out of pocket. The sperm analysis was $39 (plus pathology fee, which I don't know yet), the Clomid was $35 for 5 pills, the HCG shot was $40. Then I'll have to pay for an ultrasound (probably $200) and one or two days of bloodtesting (probably $150 each). So, this could get expensive if this takes a few cycles. :(

Started my period yesterday. I'm actually happy about it, since this means I'll be starting Clomid in 4 days! I'm so excited! In a way, I'm excited about the side effects: cramping, headaches, dizziness, sleeplessness, mood swings, heavy period, etc. If I feel bad, I know it is working! :P

We also decided to get a sperm analysis done. We did that yesterday, hopefully I'll get the results in a day or so. I am kind of pissed off about the whole thing actually... I called and asked how much it was to get one done, because my health insurance doesn't cover it. She said $39. Great! So we went ahead and get it done. Well, AFTER we're done and I'm paying for it, the lady says, "Oh, they told you there would be an extra charge for pathology, right? $39 is just a lab fee." So I asked how much it was and she said it varies depending on who does it and how long it takes. What the hell? What if I get a bill later for $6,568? It could cost anything! They are jackasses. I'm going to try to stay away from that hospital if it is at all possible.

So I got my final blood tests and everything... I still have a 'weak' ovulation, but it is actually a little better than the OB thought. I am ovulating, and all the hormones and everything are there, my eggs are just popping out a little too early.

I was thinking that she was going to put me on Metformin, which is a medication that helps with insulin resistance. But she said that my insulin levels were so low that she would prefer to keep me off of it, for now. Instead, she is going to put me on Clomid (the drug that strengthens ovulation) at 50mg (a weak dosage) for one cycle and see how that goes. We'll continue to do blood tests 3 times a month and an ultrasound to see the size of my follicles right before ovulation. If everything goes well, we'll do that for a few months, until I get pregnant. :)

If I still have weak ovulation, she'll up my dosage to 100mg and try that. If my cycle responds, we'll stay there. If not, then she'll try Metformin and Clomid together, which has traditionally been a great combo. She doesn't think I'll need it though.

She is also leaving it up to us to decide if we want to do a sperm analysis now, or after a few cycles with good ovulation and no pregnancy. I will talk to the clinic and see how much it costs... if it is around $100, we'll just go ahead and do it. If it is more expensive, we'll wait until we know that *I* am OK, and then figure out what ELSE is wrong (if we're not pregnant, of course!).

So, I'm really excited about everything. I'm happy there was no scary news, or anything like that. I was scared about the whole "Left ovary not seen" thing. It was kind of freaking me out for a while... could it be possible that I didn't have one of my ovaries? But today she told me that I definitely do have two ovaries, but the ultrasound technician who did my ultrasound didn't do a good job (and thought she found my ovary and didn't, or something like that).

Hello, hello, hello. Had my CD 20 bloodtest last Thrusday, but I don't have the results yet. I meet with the OB on Tuesday to go over all results and come up with a game plan.

I didn't mention this before, but on my ultrasound, it says "Left ovary not seen." I'm not sure if I should be scared of that or not. My OB left a message about the results of the ultrasound, and she said, "It is pretty much as we had expected." I assume if I was actually MISSING an ovary, she's mention that? Hmm, oh well. :)

Well, it looks like I did ovulate on CD 13. That's good in one way - that means my cycles haven't gotten any worse, and my dieting didn't really affect anything. It's bad though because I had an ultrasound on CD 12 and they said the eggs were too small and immature. So even though I ovulated, they would not be able to be fertilized.

Also, my fertility monitor didn't pick up an LH surge, so it didn't give me any peak days. This means my LH surge was really weak, which appears to be my major problem.

The nurse originally said that she thought I had PCOS because the ratio of FSH to LH was 3:1. However, in women with PCOS, the LH is almost always higher. Plus, my ultrasound did not reveal any abnormal cysts on my ovaries (yay!). You actually don't need cysts on your ovaries to be diagnosed with PCOS, but I really don't have any symptoms of PCOS other than slightly elevated insulin. She still might diagnose me with PCOS however, just to give my problem a name. :)

I've looked all over the internet and this is all I've been able to find about low LH levels:

"An inadequate LH release can cause a decrease in androstenedione from the theca cells. Less substrate results in a decrease in estradiol and, subsequently, lower progesterone levels. Additionally, a suboptimal LH surge at ovulation causes deficient progesterone because of inadequate luteinization of the granulosa cells."

That doesn't really explain why my eggs are immature (as evidenced by my ultrasound), because my FSH levels were fine.

Anyway, like I said before, the treatment will be the same, really. Metformin for elevated insulin, and Clomid to strength ovulation. 75% of women on Clomid ovulate, and if you ovulate you have a 40% chance of getting pregnant each cycle.

So, this 40% number really has me excited. I kind of feel a renewed interest in the whole pregnancy thing (I guess my interest was fading slightly this month because I was basically told I would not be able to get pregnant, plus I thought I wasn't ovulating).

I went out and bought some books yesterday, and I have my eyes set on a pregnancy journal where I can record all the events of my pregnancy. I will not buy it until I'm actually pregnant though. :)

Ugh, what's going on with my chart? It doesn't look like I ovulated yet, and I should have. I've been dieting lately - perhaps that messed up my cycle? Argh, I'm frustrated.

Today I have another bloodtest and an ultrasound, so perhaps we can get a better idea of what's going on because of that.

Wish me luck!

Well, when I did finally meet with the OB, she said my FSH hormone was elevated, incidating I have PCOS. So I was wrong when I previously said that my mentral hormoes where OK! I guess the nurse just didn't tell me over the phone.

I guess I have a really mild case, since I have regular periods and no other symptoms (other than extra weight in the middle).

I will have an ultrasound next week to check out the status of my follices, but I'm worried I'll ovulate before then. It will show whether or not I have cysts on my ovaries though. I will also do another blood test.

Pretty much regardless of what happens though, the treatment will be almost the same. Metformin (Glucophage) to lower my insulin, and Clomid to stregthen my ovulation.

Since I have high FSH though, I need to be careful of multiple ovulation. We'll hopefully be able to monitor that with monthly ultrasounds though. I'd really like to prevent multiples.

My blood tests came back yesterday. All my menstral hormones were OK (which is good) but my insulin was a little high. Some doctors diagnose insulin resistance at a fasting insulin level of 15. Most use a fasting insulin level of 20. Mine was 18. So my doctor is going to talk to me about it, perhaps put me on some medication (I'm assuming metaformin, which is supposed to me a nice, safe drug).

I go in to talk to the doctor this morning about it, so I'll write more after that. But, I did some reasearch, and they said that basically anyone over a certain weight will have like a near-100% chance of having insulin resistance. So, at my weight, my insulin level actually isn't too bad (since some doctors wouldn't even diagnose me with it officially). But, treating the insulin problem will help me get pregnant, and will help me lose weight. Both of which is FINE with me! :)

Today she will also talk to me about getting an ultrasound in the middle of my cycle (before I ovulate) to measure my pre-ovulation follicles. She will try to determine if they are mature enough to be fertilized. If they aren't mature, I assume I will be on Clomid next cycle. I will let you know!

I'm excited about the path I'm on though... lots of little problems popping up, but nothing too suprising, dangerous or unfixable. :) Let's keep it that way.

Not much going on... Stopped my period yesterday, so ovulation and BDing and my first HCG shot are coming up soon.

I didn't get the results of my blood test back yet, should find out more today.

So the OB appointment went really well I think. The bad news is, my OB looked at my charts and immediately said I have a luteal phase defect (LPD). Basically, my progesterone was too low after ovulation to support a pregnancy. The good news is, if this is indeed the only problem, it is a pretty easy problem to fix. :)

I'm so glad that I've been charting, otherwise she would have probably told me to just keep trying and see what happens (since all my x-rays look so good). But, when I showed her my charts, she basically said, "Aha, this is the problem!"

I'm also really glad that I got the fertility monitor. Since the fertility monitor picked up my LH surge last month, that means I probably have good LH/FSH levels. I am having a blood test in a few days to doublecheck that though.

If I have low LH/FSH levels as well, I will probably need Clomid (a fertility drug) to help with follicle production. This would mean that though my body is ovulating (as evidenced by my temperature charts) the follicles and eggs are not mature enough to result in pregnancy. Either the egg that is released is too immature to be penetrated by sperm, or the corpus luteum is not mature enough to produce enough progesterone to maintain a pregnancy. Or both.

Since my fertility monitor picked up some LH/FSH levels and since I do seem to be ovulating (if only weakly), the doctor wants to start treatment by giving me an HCG shot around ovulation, which will help the strength of my ovulation (but not the maturity of my follicles, if that is the main problem). Then, I will have progesterone treatment after ovulation to help support my uterine lining in preparation for implantation.

If my LH/FSH levels are low, or if the above treatment doesn't work, the next step is Clomid, which will increase the strength of my ovulation.

Then, if that doesn't work, we will go on to other treatments. Right now, the OB doesn't even want to bother with a sperm analysis or any other tests because we have a known problem right here.

So, like I said, I'm happy about all this. I think I've said it in my blog before, that I feel like if there is a problem, I just want to know what it is and get on with fixing it! :) Of course, I'd prefer everything to be perfect, but rarely in life it is. ;)

That being said, I started my period today. I can say that the last two months have been stronger cycles for me... I had the eggwhite CM and no early spotting (by the way, early spotting was a result of my low progesterone). So this can only help with the treatment. I'm happy I started my period today though, because that means I can get on with the fertility treatments. :)

So, I'll have my blood test on Monday. Wish me luck! Don't want to have hypothyrodism or some other blood issue, so cross your fingers for that. ;)