Update

Hi everyone!!!

Sorry not to keep you updated, but we've been so busy lately! We're a few hours away from the hospital and the driving is KILLING us! We have a "parent's room" at the hospital - but I'll be honest with you, he LAST place my husband and I want to stay is in the hospital. It feels so good to be home.

But let me get to the fantastic news. Phinny is doing GREAT!!!! He came off the ventilator last weekend and has been getting better ever since. He's getting breastmilk now through a feeding tube, and he's off almost all of his medications. He still has some breathing help (a CPAP) but I don't think he really needs it, and I bet they take it off in a day or so. Honestly, he pulls it out all the time, so pretty much any time he's awake he's not on it! The nurse even let me take it off just to take his picture, so obiously her feeling was that it isn't TOO necessary. He will probably be able to come home in a week or so, maybe sooner. Before he goes home he needs to be able to breast/bottle feed (which means he needs to know how to suck and swallow while still breathing) but he already can suck on a pacifier while breathing so I don't think that will be a problem!

I had been struggling with this feeling that I wasn't really connected to Phinny. We didn't really go through the bonding thing, you know? However, when his ventilator finally came out and his sedation was turned down and he started to move and cry for the first time, my heart totally exploded! Now I can't stop thinking about him. :) He's so cute I could practically eat him. I want to play with him all the time. I soooo wish he was here with me.

And I love all the different cries he makes. I haven't heard a real ANGRY cry yet, but he has all these different levels of protest already. He has like a weak, "Ehhh" sound when he's just barely awake but he is slightly upset. And he has a short, quick, "Waah, ehh, hmm" when he's being movied or is irritated. Then of course my favorite, the loud but still calm, "Wah, wah, wah." Just letting you know I don't like this, but I'm not throwing a fit - YET.

And I love his hair. Right now it is medium brown, and it is the softest texture I've ever felt. Rubbing his head is like touching a cloud. There are a few spots on his head where they shaved it in order to put in an IV, so at some angles he looks quite punk rock. But I'm sure it will grow back into the old balding man pattern he had before.

And now when he's asleep I can see him dreaming. He was too zonked out to dream before, I think. His eyes roll around behind his eyelids and he twitches and makes sucking motions. I wonder what he's dreaming about? He can't be dreaming about eating since he's never eaten before really!

I got to change his diaper for the first time today. The nurse was impressed that he didn't cry at all, and she said he always cries when she does it. I honestly don't think there was anything IN the diaper, at least I couldn't see anything, but I did notice a problem. I grabbed both his legs and lifted him up to change him, but his legs were so strong that he kept bending them so his feet touched his butt. I mean, I think he's stronger than me! And when his little butt is very dirty, the feet touching it could pose an additional clean up problem. I'm sure there is a trick that I'll eventually learn through trial and error, but I forsee many poopie socks in my future.

Also, during the last few weeks they were giving him lots of fluids and he was VERY swollen. He was born at 5 lbs 2 ounces and by two weeks old he was up to 6 lbs 6 ounces due to fluids! Now he's lost a LOT of the bloat and he's back down to 5 lbs 13 ounces. He is much smaller and looks like a different baby, but looks much healthier. His face is cuter too. ;)

I guess that's about it for now!