I hate the first week after ovulation. You can't look forward to ovulation and BDing, and it is too early for pregnancy signs, so all you can do is wait. Bleh. So, I'm waiting. Nothing to report.

I got another Peak reading on Sunday, and today I got a High reading on the fertility monitor. Plus, my temperature jumped today. All of this adds up to the fact that I ovulated yesterday, on CD 11, which is a few days early. I guess buying the fertility monitor was a good idea. :) So, we'll BD tonight as well for good measure, and then we'll begin the dreaded Two Week Wait.

I think this is one of my best ovulations yet. I had Eggwhite CM for TWO DAYS. And quite a bit of it the morning of the second day (which, incidentally, were my two Peak days on the fertility monitor, as you'd expect). Remember that I've only ever had Eggwhite CM one other month white TTC (which happened to be during a month we were taking off because I was on medication for my allergies).

So, this is the first time we're BDing with the best kind of cervical fluid! I think that's great. :) I've been taking 3 Mucinex pills per day, which is an expentorant that thins mucus (including cervical mucus) and it either worked well this month, or this was just a good month. If I get Eggwhite CM next month, I'll give total credit to the Mucinex. :)

The appointment with my new OB is on Jan. 9th. So that means I'll be 12 DPO when I see her. Hopefully I'll have some pregnancy symptoms when I go in, so I'll sort of know one way or the other what I should talk to her about. :) Maybe I can get an early blood test. Anyway, like I said before, I will arrange for some infertility treatments, or at least ask her about them, when I go in (if I'm not pregnant).

Today I got a "Peak" reading on my fertiliy monitor! And it's only day 10! Wtf? Not sure what that's all about, but we BDed last night, and we'll keep it up until it's time to stop. ;)

I'm happy and kind of surprised about the Peak reading. It's so early in my cycle. I guess if I ovulate on day 12 or so, it is good timing though. Anyway, I've never had a Peak reading, so it was fun to see the little egg picture in the monitor's window. Last month I never got a Peak reading, and a little part of me wondered if that could be an indication that something wrong. But, of course, the directions for the monitor said that the first month is usually screwy as it gets used to your hormone levels. I'm just glad that there is another indication that I'm normal, ya know? :)

I want a baby so bad. I guess part of it is that I'm a naturally obsessive person, and this is my current obsession. (You know, I never thought I was obsessive until I was an adult. But now I find that I do so many little things... like I have to eat ice cream in a certain order: creamy parts first, candy-laiden parts last. Or, I always avoid cracks in the pavement - but just in front of work and in front of our apartment.) But I think I have hormones that are kicking in as well. I think I've written in the blog before about oxytocin in more detail, so I won't get into that now. I think though, that I'm totally half-full of this oxytocin stuff! Everything in my whole body is shouting, "BABY! BABY! BABY!" to me all the time.

Like the other day, I was playing with one of the cats, and I started tickling him and doing my own silly version of "coochie coochie coo." Then I thought, hopefully one day I'll be doing this to my little baby! Then my heart melted as the oxytocin kicked in.

I was reading a book the other night that was talking about how to make your babies smart, starting from around 28 weeks pregnant. They can hear in the womb, and hearing the mother's voice when she is talking stimulates development in the baby's brain. The baby also will match is cries to certain patterns in the mother's speech, which makes the cries more pleasing to the mother's ear when the baby is born. I hope that means my baby won't cry a lot, since I sure do talk a lot. Hehe.

But anyway, the book was discussing all of these hormonal things that evolution has developed in order to help with the species' survival. Human infants are totally dependant on their parents - they can't do anything on their own, really. Some scientists have said that the gestational period for humans is really 2 years and 10 months. Until a baby is around 2 years old, they can't really survive at all on their own (even then it would be tough for them, of course). So, nature makes sure that the parents totally love the baby so much that they will do anything to protect and nurture it.

For example, everything about a baby's appearance is tailored to trigger certain reactions in its parents. All babies have dark hair and the same color eyes when their born. The reason? So a father can't tell that it isn't his baby, until later when the baby's hair and eyes change, and by then the baby is older and slightly more secure. This tries to ensure that the father will stick around a little longer, even if it isn't his baby. Babies are born with lots of fat around their faces which makes them cuter and more appealing. They learn instantly how to make eye contact, and their dark, deep eyes looking deep into your heart ensure that the parents experience a certain "bonding" with their baby. As I mentioned before, the babies cries are tuned to specifically create a desire to help within the parents. And, the whole breastfeeding experience is designed to feel good to the mother (oxytocin, the "love" hormone that is also present after an orgasm, pumps through the mother's veins) so that she will want to continue the experience.

Anyway, even though there is are even more examples like that, I won't get into all of them. But I would LOVE to experience all of this. I would LOVE to meet this little human that is specifically suited with tools that will force me to love it. Not that I won't love it anyway, but how cool is that to meet someone created just for me to love?

Happy Holidays to everyone!

Well, I got a "High" fertility reading on my Fertility Monitor, so we'll be BDing tonight, even though it seems quite early. I would assume that I won't ovulate until about CD 13, and it is CD 9 today. But, in previous cycles, I've ovulated as early as CD 11, so anything is possible, and I'm ready for it. ;)

It will be nice to BD this cycle because we have so many days off due to the holiday. So we'll BD tonight and Sat and Sunday, I'll probably ovulate on Monday, and we'll BD on Monday and Tuesday and that should be it. We'll see. :)

I see my new OB on the 9th, so hopefully I'll be pregnant by then, and the visit will be useless! :)

Not much going on. The blogger web site was down yesterday so I couldn't post anything. I wonder how many bloggers are writing about the blogger site being down in their blogs? Hehe.

Anyway, my period is gone, so we'll be TTC again in a few days here. I don't really have anything new to do this cycle... I'm still on Mucinex for cervical mucus, but I'm still scared to try egg whites.

I decided that if I don't get pregnant this cycle, I'm going to have a few infertility tests (even though it is still a little early). I have already have an HSG, so I shouldn't have to do that. (Unless they want to see if anything has changed in the last 6 months, which is possible.) We will probably get an SA and whatever other treatment or test is really cheap. Then if I still don't get pregnant for 3 or 4 more months, then I'll make an appointment to see an RE and get more expensive treatments or tests. That is of course unless my OB can determine the problem easily, and start treatment. I just want to be pregnant with a healthy baby, I don't care what it takes. :)

Sorry I haven't updated for a while. It is just toooo depressing to write stuff in my "pregnancy journal" while I'm on my period, ya know?

Last month was such a heartbreaking experience. I'm not kidding - I was 100% sure I was pregnant. I think I had convinced Kevin that I was pregnant too. The few days we really thought it had happened were some of the happiest of my life, and seeing Kevin just as happy was amazing. So, when I started my period, it was devastating to both of us. We were both trying to be strong for eachother, but we were both really sad. It sucked!

So now we're on to our 5th month. I guess we're still within the normal range in terms of how long it is taking us. I'm just worried that something is wrong, and I don't want to waste too much time before trying to figure it out.

So, I've made an appointment with an OB to discuss everything. Firstly, I had a lot of cramps last month after ovulation, and I should have that checked out. Perhaps it is nothing. Secondly, I want to start talking about infertility treatments. Unfortunately, infertility isn't covered by my insurance (which sucks!) so I will have to pay for everything. Happily, Kevin agrees this is top priority and he committed to spending money if we have to. I've done an HSG so I know my tubes are open, but there are few other little tests we can have that will tell us more without much effort and money.

My OB appointment is Jan. 9 I think, so I am going to try again this cycle and see what happens. Then, on Jan. 9, I won't be able to have xrays or anything until I know I'm not pregnant. Hopefully they will be unnecessary. :)

Well, I started my period for sure. I'm pretty devastated. I was just SOOOO sure that I was pregnant this month. With the light HPT positive and everything. In fact, I bet I WAS pregnant, but I lost it so early.

I am going to go to the OB though and see what the little pains I was having were. Like I said before, perhaps I have an ovarian cyst. Or, perhaps it was just a chemical pregnancy.

Oh well... :(

I just posted this on the message board:

---
Today is the first day of my missed period, but I started spotting tonight (quite a bit of spotting... enough to wear a pantyliner, but not enough yet for a tampon) and have AF cramps. I took a Clear Blue Easy test tonight (not with morning urine), and there was a very very faint blue line, but I still think it is a BFN (the line didn't show up for a while).

However, my temperature is still up. In fact, I took a nap tonight then took my temp when I woke up, and my temperature was 98.7. Usually it drops about 4 tenths of a point by morning, but still that is very high.

Also, I've never started my period with my temps this high. Could it mean there is something wrong? I've had lots of cramps since like 4 DPO, could this mean an ovarian cyst or something?

Obviously, I need to see what tomorrow's temperature is. What if it is still high?

Thanks so much in advance for your thoughts. I'm so emotional right now. I thought I was being very strong when I saw the spotting, but then my husband asked me about it (he was sooooooo cute and excited when I missed my period) I started totally bawling. I sooo wanted to make him happy, and I could tell he was so disappointed that I started my period. It totally broke my heart. We're building a new house right now, and I desparately want to start a family to live in it.

Ah well, thanks for listening.

---

:(

My temperatur dropped a tiny bit today, but so far no period. As of right now, I've officially missed my period. This is my longest LP since I've been charting.

I took another pregnancy test, and there was the slightest shadow of a line there. It was the same kind of test I took a few days ago, and if you compare the two tests, you can definitely notice a difference. But, I'm not counting it as positive yet, for sure. It is just another good sign. :)

I still have had some light cramping on and off, and lots of CM during the day. I keep thinking my period started, so I run to the bathroom and nothing is there.

I just posted this on the Fertility Friend message boards:

---

Today my temps stayed up (a slight drop, but it should be ok as long as they don't go much lower!), but this is the longest LP I've ever had. By 13 DPO I've always spotted a few days before, and then starting big-time flow by morning.

So I tested again this morning with an EPT, and when the pink flowed over the indicator area, there was a bright pink line, which didn't happen before. But it faded to almost nothing in a few minutes, and now there is a tiny shadow there.

However, I used an EPT to test a few days ago, and it is white as snow. No shadow, no nothing. You can definitely see a difference between the two.

So, is it fair to compare the two tests from the same box? Could one be an evap line while the other has no evap line?

Obviously, I will test again tomorrow if my temps stay up, but I would like to know your thoughts.

----

Someone asked if the faint line was pink or grey, and I answered:

----

Honestly, it is pretty hard to tell. I would say it is more pink, but it is light enough that I'm not totally sure! I looked again though, and it is definitely there. When you compare the two tests, you can see a faded line on one test, and the other there absolutely nothing.

I have been taking some cheap internet tests almost every day, and on those tests I do think I can see an evap line. It is definitely grey, and it is skinnier than the comparison pink line. As if it is the impression of when they added the chemicals to that spot.

This very light line on my EPT test though, is just as wide as the comparison line. It is exactly where it should be if it were positive, it is just so light...

The more I look at it though, the darker it gets, LOL. Perhaps it is my mind wishing it into reality.

----

Will post more tomorrow. :)

Temperature went up AGAIN today. :) Very nice. We'll see what happens tomorrow

Still some light cramps, but no other symptoms.

Temperature jumped up today nicely. That's a super good sign. I had a strange twinge in my right side (well, the area where my uterus/tubes are) all day yesterday, and today I had period like cramps. Still no period though. I just hope my temperature stays up, and no period comes! :) I have more optimism this cycle than any other cycle so far though. I actually took a pregnancy test and it was negative, but that's to be expected.

Wish me luck...

My temp is still up and it is day 22. That's pretty good. Last month my temperature dropped below the coverline on day 22. Then again, I ovulated a little earlier last month.

I don't feel any more symptoms though, which is discouraging. No cramps or headaches or moodiness.

Well, we'll know more in a few days.

Oh, and also, no more cramps or headache today.

A strange temperature dip this morning. I haven't checked my previous charts yet to see how typical this is for me. But it could be a good sign if it goes back up higher. Talk again soon...

Yay, the Blogger site appears to be up and running properly, so I'm back in business.

Well, ever since yesterday, I've had light cramps. I felt exactly like I do right before I start my period. It's very strange! I haven't felt anything like this since I started TTC. Of course, I'm not sure if this has happened before I started TTC, since I never really paid any attention to the timing of these sorts of things before. Also, I had a mild headache for a long time yesterday. Headaches are another early sign of pregnancy - but, honestly, it felt exactly like a sinus headache, so I'm not sure if that should really be put on my list of "hopeful symptoms."

In part due to those two things, and also in part due to our excellent BDing this month, I feel REALLY good about this month. I'm trying not to be too excited because I don't want to set myself up for a bigger disappointment than normal. But, like I said, I feel really good about this month. :)

I just hope it isn't something bad, like an ectopic pregnancy, or perhaps my fibroids are now too big. I will watch my symptoms closely, of course, to see how they develop.

Cross your fingers!

Hmmm... well the Blogger site that I use to run this journal has been up and down all day today. It looks like I've gotten window where I could post though. Well, I hope so anyway. :)

So, it looks like our TTC time is over for this month. My temperatures show that I ovulated about 3 days ago. Given that, our BDing for this month was exactly on time. My fertility monitor is still showing "High" fertility for me (it has the entire middle of my cycle) but that is most likely because it hasn't yet adjusted to my cycle. In the instructions it says that it could take a few months to be accurate. (Which would be funny if I get pregnant this month, which would mean that the fertility monitor was totally useless!). If anything though, it has shown that my temperature charts appear to be correct - so we've been BDing at the right times so far.

It does appear that my cervical mucus is still a problem, even with the guaifenesin. I'm not sure what the possible solutions are other than guaifenesin... I think that it might take an IUI. But hey, I'll do whatever works. :)

Hi there!

So, there are three readings on my fertility monitor: low, high and peak. You show "low" fertility on almost every day of the month, "high" just before and after ovulation, and "peak" the days of or right around ovulation. Today, I tested "high" on the monitor, so we'll be BDing tonight! It doesn't really change anything, because I would have started BDing tonight anyway, just based on my cycle day. But it is nice to have some confirmation from the monitor. Actually, this is the first time I've tested positive for anything while TTC. All the other ovulation kits never gave me a positive, so I was suspicious that I had a problem. So, I agree with all the tests that the Clear Blue easy fertility monitor is the best and most sensitive! :)

Also, I got a prescription for some Guaifenesin. It is actually called Mucinex, and I can buy it over the counter. So far, it seems to have helped a little with the cervical mucus, but not a LOT. We'll see when it gets to be closer to ovulation time.

Cross your fingers, I want this to be my month!